I Am Still Holding On To Him Because He Is The Genius Running My Business

When I met him, we were both not working but I was running a small business that sustained us. The money we earned wasn’t much but we managed it until I got a stable job. The day I received the appointment letter, joy flowed like a river in our hearts. We had a little celebration. After that, he went with me to the district I was posted to process my documents. On our way, he told me, “I am worried that you will leave me when you start receiving your paychecks and I am still sitting at home unemployed.” I assured him, “I love you so you don’t need to worry about that. If you remain as loving and supportive as you are now, we can set up a business and run it together.”

When I settled into my new town and started work, Fred visited me every fortnight. Whenever he comes around he would spend four days with me before leaving. It was all good until his visits went from two weeks to two months. Even with that, I had to beg him before he would show up. And when he comes he would spend only a few hours and leave. I always paid his transportation when he visited so I didn’t understand his reluctance to come and spend time with me.

I became very concerned so I sat him down and asked him, “Am I doing anything you don’t like?” He shook his head. I asked him again, “Is it my shuperu skills? Am I boring? Do I need to spice things up?” He said, “No, I like the way things are.” “Then what is the problem? Is it my cooking? Am I not cooking the way you like it anymore?” That one too he said, “Stop stressing yourself. Everything is fine.” Everything was certainly not fine. And I set out to find out what constituted the change in his behavior.

Through my digging, I found out that he was involved with another woman. When I confronted him about it, he neither confirmed nor denied it. All he said was, “I told you there’s nothing wrong with our relationship. Everything is fine.” I knew he would keep hiding it so the next time I got the chance to go home I met up with the lady. I asked her in a sisterly manner, “What is your relationship with Fred?” “He is my boyfriend,” she responded, “I have had my suspicions that he is also dating you. But when I ask him he brushes me off. Who are you to him?” She opened up to me so I also returned the favour. I told her, “I am not here to warn you to stay away from my man. We all know the truth about him now so it is up to us to choose what is right for us.”

I recorded my conversation with the lady and sent it to Fred. That was when he admitted to cheating on me and apologized for his actions. He promised to break up with her and never look at another woman again. I still had so much hope for our future so I chose to give him a second chance.

As time went on I received a five-month lump sum of my salary. I had a piece of land I wanted to start a building project on but Fred had another idea. He suggested we start an animal farm on the land. He had the plan and I had the money. So I gave him GHC1000 out of the money for his personal use and gave him the rest of the money to invest in the business. After the principal investment, I gave him twenty percent of my salary every month to invest in the business. Not only did I trust him with my money but I gave him access to my phone and all my social media accounts. Meanwhile, I couldn’t even go near his phone without his orders.

One day I was there when a number called me. It was the lady he used to date alongside me. She asked me, “Are you still dating Fred?” Out of curiosity, I said no. She then started apologizing for all the pain Fred has caused me. I asked how their relationship was going and she told me things were going well with them. This time I didn’t tell her I was still with Fred. I just wished her well and hung up.

After the phone call, I confronted Fred again. He told me, “Instead of listening to outsiders, why don’t you focus on what we have.” I knew he was trying to manipulate me into turning a blind eye to his cheating ways but I ignored him. I let him think he won. Three days after that talk, he told me his pastor has given him three weeks to pray and fast for our relationship. He told me not to call him during that period and that he would be the one calling me. I said okay. I then realized that every time he called me he was outside. Not once did he call me that he was in his room. So I put two and two together and concluded that he had a woman in his room for the three weeks he claimed he was praying and fasting.

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Three days after he finished the “direction” I told him, “If you have found someone you want to be with you can go ahead and be with the person. We will find a way to manage the business.” He said, “No, there is no one but you. You mean the world to me, trust me.” I knew he was lying but I was tired. I was no longer interested in the relationship. I just wanted to keep him around because of the business we were running together.

So I stopped paying attention to him and focused on myself and my future. When he saw that I had changed he started accusing me of cheating on him. He would come to my place unannounced and thoroughly search my phone hoping to catch me doing something. I had nothing to hide so I never bothered.

What Was Your Response When An Ex Wanted To Come Back?

During the Christmas holidays, his sister came to my place. She told me, “Jessy, let’s go home. My brother is over there with another woman. My entire family is rooting for you so let’s go and cause a scene.” I told her, “Sis, your brother is not worth my time and attention any more. He is free to do whatever he likes.” I truly meant what I said. The only reason I haven’t called everything off is because of the business. Although I invested my money, he is the one who has the ideas. And the business is coming along well. So I want him to enjoy the benefits of his investments before our relationship comes to an end.

I really had big plans for us. I am a calm, brave, kind, supportive, and phenomenal woman who wanted to team up with my partner and build a business with him, but he has taken me for a fool. His sister wants me to fight for him but I am done fighting for a man who doesn’t even know what he wants. My only concern is if I should keep letting him manage the business and give him a percentage, or if I should compensate him for his efforts and completely cut him off. What do I do?

–Jessy