They Called Her Horrible Names For Marrying a 97 Year Old Man. Years Later, They Regretted It

“When a single Ghanaian mother found support in a 97-year-old man, many criticized her for her decision. But years later, they regretted their words. Today, Ghana is listed under the category of Africa’s developing nations. In many ways, however, the country still records an alarming rate of backwardness.

So, for Asebaya, raising a child as a single mother in this barely stable economy and without financial support was a very difficult job. Asebaya didn’t grow up in a well-to-do family, and that meant she couldn’t be counted among the few privileged ladies who, despite being jilted by their men, still had their family to fall back on. Therefore, Asebaya waited a long time for her husband, hoping that he would come back to his senses and take her back. Sadly, he didn’t. Nonetheless, Asebaya chose to keep the pregnancy, and after nine long months, she gave birth to a beautiful baby. However, her partner still refused to acknowledge his paternity. And when you think about the dictates of African culture, you’ll find out that Asebaya was in hot water with the society.

So, she could be Judith directly or indirectly humiliated and oftentimes avoided. She raised her child on her own for a while before she met Agyakwasi Gyan Marfo Aguabwa, who was 83 years old at the time. Asebaya was intrigued by the old man’s personality, particularly because he was kind-hearted and had a sincere love for humanity. However, Aguabwa was married to two other women with whom he had fathered several children. Even at that, Asebaya didn’t mind being friends with Aguabwa. The pair got along so well and became very good friends.

In just a few months, Aguabwa had succeeded in winning her over, and the pair became lovers. But as with every other love story we’ve come to know, Asebaya and Aguabwa’s relationship wasn’t without its ups and downs. It isn’t a new thing for a young girl to be married to a man as old as her grandfather in Africa. It has been the way of life from time immemorial. As a matter of fact, the older men were deemed to be more responsible than their younger folk and therefore actually preferred as husbands.

However, while it had been common practice in the last two centuries, 99% of these girls were forced into these marriages. It is very rare for a young bride to be in love with her older husband. For this reason, when Asebaya told a few friends she had left that she was quite taken by a man who was 60 years older than her, they were absolutely shocked. Asebaya’s friends thought that she must have been bewitched by Aguabwa. They just couldn’t fathom the idea. Asebaya was 21 at the time and quite attractive despite being already a mother. But on her part, Asebaya knew that her aged lover was finally capable of taking care of her and her child, which was all she wanted from life.

One interesting thing about this story is that Asebaya claimed her aged lover was quite stylish and energetic in bed, possibly more than most younger men. Aguabwa used a local medicine which gave him his much-needed virility, and apparently, the results were very satisfying. But far from all that, the exciting thing was that Asebaya’s child now had a direct father figure, even if he wasn’t a biological one.

Luckily, the two lovers had met a few months after she had given birth. It all happened way back in 2006. Asebaya had been forced to live with her aunt in Agya Arukrom, a village located between Obuasi and Dunwa, an orphan since her lover hadn’t owned up to the pregnancy. Coincidentally, Aguabwa owned the cocoa plantation in the area. It hadn’t taken too long before they crossed paths. In situations like this, one would worry about Aguabwa’s two wives. Asebaya was likely to be seen as competition and a threatening one at that since she was way younger than both of them.

The conflict between the three women was inevitable, but the man did his best to keep the peace between his lovers. After the couple started going out together, Asebaya soon became known as the girl who was in a relationship with a man four times her age in the settlement they lived in. This kind of news got around pretty fast. Wherever she went, several people would point fingers at her while conversing in low tones. And the ones who didn’t call her horrible names addressed her in the most demeaning manner.

The fact that Aguabwa was older than Asebaya wasn’t the only problem. Many people believed that Aguabwa was only interested in Asebaya’s youthfulness. ‘You’d have nothing left by the time he’s done with you,’ they often remarked. The jeers and taunts increased day after day. But it did nothing to change Asebaya’s mind. They lived as man and wife but with a small twist; they hadn’t tied the knot. All the years they had known each other, they were only cohabiting. Situations like these weren’t new in Ghana, where the common term to describe this kind of relationship was knocking.

However, knocking was usually preferred by young couples waiting for the right time to get married or people in non-committed relationships, since the partners can simply walk away from each other without financial or bureaucratic complications. Also, assuming the man passed, her children may have little to no claim over his properties, unlike his other legalized kids. In fact, in the 14 years they had lived together, Asebaya had given Aguabwa four more children. It had come as a shock to the whole community when Asebaya sprouted her first pregnancy. Almost the entire community thought that Aguabwa was just too old to maintain an active sexual life and father children.

In fact, others predicted that Asebaya would run away after a few months or a year at most. They all believed that Asebaya was just another young woman in her 20s getting married to an older man because of money. ‘When he couldn’t fulfill her innate desires, she would elope with a younger man,’ they would say. ‘When I started developing feelings for Aguabwa, I also became conscious of the fact that people would talk about us. I expected it, but I never imagined the outcry would be this overblown. That’s what I’m surprised about. And some people accuse me of some very nasty things.

Yes, I know my husband is old enough to be my father, but that doesn’t mean I’m incapable of loving him. I’m just happy my husband knows my feelings are genuine, and that’s all that matters,’ said Asebaya in an interview. By the time she had given birth to her fourth children, the jeering had even increased.

Four children and no wedding inside must have meant that Aguabwa was only taking advantage over naivete. Asebaya too must have become worried at this stage because the predictions of people seem to be coming true. However, he had been faithful to the only promise he made to

her, and that was taking care of her child like one of his own. When they had met 14 years earlier, he had promised to always provide for the both of them without asking for much in return. It wasn’t expected that she’d give birth to his children, but it was a good thing yet a cause for concern for many people.

“I have had to talk to her several times about what other people are saying. I don’t care; it doesn’t bother me because I know she truly loves me. That’s what’s important to me. People would always talk. If the roles were reversed and I was the younger one, they would accuse me of the same thing they accused Asebaya of. So, let them keep talking,” Aguaboa said.

Fourteen years had passed, four kids were kicking, Asebaya was now 35 years old, and Aguaboa was three years away from having lived a century. If 14 years had passed and he was yet to propose, what were the chances that he’d do it now at 97 years old? Apparently, very high.

One morning, Aguaboa broke the good news to Asebaya. “We’ll be getting married in a few days,” he said. Asebaya was overjoyed. Although it wasn’t a romantic proposal, she was glad that the jeers and low tones people addressed her with would finally come to an end. They had hurled all kinds of derogatory words at her, but years later, they were about to regret it.

Aguaboa and Asebaya’s wedding pictures trended on the internet. Several people were surprised at the union until they learned of the 14 years back story. The people who once mocked Asebaya for marrying an old man were the same people who celebrated with her on her wedding day. Interestingly, some of these women were still unmarried. Their cruel comments had clearly been sour grapes, and they had no choice but to congratulate the newlyweds with envious smiles.