Family Issues
My Dad Shouted At Me For Telling Him To Remove What He Put In My Room
When I was 14 years old, I had my own room at my dad’s house, which was three floors above his flat. He owned the whole house and rented out the other floors, while the flat in the basement was his own space. During some renovations he was doing in the flat, he asked if he could keep some of his belongings in my room temporarily. I agreed and made space for him on the top shelf and in my wardrobe.
About six months later, when most of the work was done and his belongings were being removed from my room, I decided to take a look at what was left on his shelf. To my surprise, I found stacks of money, including £50 notes, as well as some miscellaneous items and about 20 c0nd0ms, with one packet already opened.
It’s important to note that my dad had a lack of respect for privacy and personal space. He would often enter my room without permission, and the sheets would be changed every time I visited, even though I only stayed for two nights.
Seeing the condoms and the fact that his room remained undecorated raised some concerns in my mind. However, I didn’t want to immediately assume the worst. It took me a few months to gather the courage, but eventually, I asked my dad to remove his belongings from my room. His reaction was completely irrational and angry.
He started screaming at me, calling me ungrateful and saying that I owed him since he had decorated my room. His anger escalated to the point where my younger sister, who heard the commotion from the ground floor, came to check on me. My dad then shifted his attention to her and continued berating me. I signaled to my sister to go downstairs, as I knew it would only provoke my dad further.
The next time I visited, his belongings were cleared from my room, and he acted as if nothing had happened. But the incident often weighs on my mind. I question whether I was in the wrong and if I had jumped to conclusions.
My mom suggested that his extreme reaction was due to embarrassment, but this incident is part of a larger pattern of behavior.
My therapist has described my dad as a narcissist with anger issues. He constantly labels me as a difficult child and denies having anger issues, instead blaming me for his outbursts. Over time, I have learned to avoid actions that might provoke his anger, but deep down, I believe that his anger issues are the root cause.