All his close friends are married but they all have side chics in the university. That’s something he never hid from me. He is the most open man I have ever dated. He knows I am concerned that he might cheat on me so he has given me access to his phone. I know his password and the passwords of all his social media accounts. He doesn’t mind when I read his messages. He tells me, “I am an open book. What you see is what you get.” And I have come to trust him a hundred percent.

Right from the moment I met him on a business trip, our connection has been easy flowing. We are quite alike in certain ways. And we seemed to enjoy the same things. We are also not young. He is forty and I am thirty-two. We established that our relationship is geared toward marriage so things have been serious since we began. I count myself lucky to have him.

The one thing we don’t have in common is our sexual appetites. He is very good in bed and likes to try new things in the bedroom. I, on the other hand, am laid back. I am only comfortable in the missionary position, and the spooning position. I believe all the other positions are too much work and too stressful. I don’t see the need for them.

I could tell that he was not happy about my lack of enthusiasm in the bedroom. However, he didn’t make a fuss about it. He was still always all over whenever we were together as though I was bringing something wild and exciting to the table.

I believe it was enough that whenever he needed me, I was available to him. Even if I wasn’t in the mood, I would get in the mood for his sake. One day we were in the throes of passion when he asked me to go down on him. I felt some way about it so I refused.

He didn’t make a big deal out of that one too. That was until we played a drinking game one night. It was truth and day and I was tipsy so my lips were loose. I ended up revealing that I had given my ex-boyfriend a blow job as an apology whilst he was driving. Honestly, if I was sober I wouldn’t have shared this story.

Since that night, he has withdrawn from me. I can sense that something has changed between us for six weeks now. He is no longer all over me like he used to. I have tried to talk to him but he insists everything is fine. “I just have a lot going on right now,” he says.

Recently, I overheard him on a conference call with his friends from London. They are coming to Ghana for a wedding and my boyfriend is organizing an orgy for all his boys at the bachelor’s party. They are going to do it at a hotel outside town with twelve university girls .

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You can imagine how much money these guys are willing to pay for the girls. They were asking for different body types, shapes, and sizes; slim girls, thick girls, dark-skinned girls, light-skinned girls, big butts, big breasts, long legs, and short girls. You would think they were organizing a buffet. I was just dumbfounded.

I know he will be there for one week because he is the best man. He isn’t taking me to the wedding because it clashes with my job evaluation. I am starting to get to get worried. Six weeks without having sex with me and now he is going for an orgy? That’s a red flag, isn’t it?

Who Would You Choose, A Rich Man Or A Man Who’s Good In Bed?

What do I do? I don’t know if I am overreacting or if I should bring it up for discussion. I am afraid that will come back a different person, and won’t want me anymore. I feel the relationship will crash. I tried to have sex with him twice this week, but he ignored all my attempts at seduction. The entire week, he ignored me and stayed behind his laptop.

I secretly checked his phone, but he wasn’t flirting with anyone online. What do I do to save my relationship? I want to marry him. I love him so much.

—Aisleen

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