“I Knew It Was My Only Way Out”—Transgender Man Finds Jesus, De-transitions After 9 Years of Living as a Man

The mainstream news promotes and celebrates many stories of transgender individuals transitioning, but there seems to be little follow-up of individuals years later, especially when it comes to individuals who end up regretting their decisions or de-transitioning for any reason. But that doesn’t mean de-transitioning stories don’t happen. It’s just not popular to talk about. This is the story of Laura Perry, who as a transgender man de-transitioned after nine years of living as a trans man, and is now a wife in a heterosexual marriage. And it’s the story of spiritual journey to freedom.

Laura’s Story That Led to Her Transition

As a child, Laura was a lively and rambunctious girl. And she struggled to feel close to her mom. At the same time, she saw the love her mother had for her brother, and she began to believe lies about the worth of females as a result.

“Early on, I began to believe a lie that boys were loved more,” Laura said.

Laura thought her mother loved her brother more than her. As she explains it, she thought if she could become more like a boy, she might get the love from her mother that she so desired.

Explaining the beginning stages of her desire to be male, Laura said, “Everything in life sort of got put through this lens, of ‘I should’ve been a boy.’”

But that was just the beginning of Laura’s discontent as a female. When she was eight years old, a boy sexually abused Laura. As she explains it, this sexualized her and eventually led her to be entrenched in a porn addiction. As she grew into a teen, her sexual experiences and exposure as a child impacted her relationships. She began sleeping around, and the guys treated her “like trash.”

She had no power in her life, and she resented the way she was treated as a female. She began to despise females and feel that being a man would be better.

Eventually, Laura began to believe that the solution to her pain was to become a man. She thought back to how she wanted to be a boy when she was little and determined, “I was supposed to be the man in a relationship.”

After some research on the internet, she found that there were many people out there who had similar feelings and that there was a community of people called “transgenders” that she could fit in with.

“I went to a [transgender] support group meeting,” Laura recalled, “and I was amazed that all of the sudden, here are all these people telling me how wonderful this is and how brave I am for coming out.”

That’s when Laura began the process of becoming “Jake.”

Laura explained, “I just wanted to be a man and completely forget that I had ever been born female.”

And at first, when she began transitioning, it was all she believed she had wanted. “I was just on cloud 9,” she said.

Why This Transgender Man De-Transitioned

Laura created a life for herself as “Jake.” And she went to great efforts to change her physical appearance to reflect how she was feeling inside.

When she decided to get a chest mastectomy, she recalls, “I thought this was the epitome of everything I’d ever wanted.”

But in the moment before the surgery, she had some doubts.

“As I was laying there on the table and I was looking down at my chest before the doctor came in, and I could see these purple cut dotted lines where he was going to cut me open,” Laura explained. “And I really began to be afraid. And I thought, ‘What if I don’t wake up from this? What if I really am in the hands of Satan?’”

Laura’s fears turned her to God.

“Even in all my times of rebellion, I knew that God was real. And so I just prayed, and I asked God to spare my life,” Laura said.

That was the beginning of the end of “Jake” and the transgender man de-transitioned.