He Will Marry Me After He’s Done Getting Married To His Fiancée

There was a time when some banks were badly affected by a crisis. My bank happened to be on the list. As someone who had starved herself to invest money at the bank, I was worried about what it meant for me. My mother who had also heard the news asked me to go to the bank and withdraw all my money. Kofi was the customer care representative who attended to me. Although I was panicking at the thought of losing my money, it also didn’t escape me that Kofi was so handsome.

I sat there looking at him dreamily thinking, “I am going to marry this guy. He is so fine.” I asked him a few questions in a manner that would get him to talk to me casually. To my disappointment, this guy was keen on dealing with me as professionally as possible. He answered all my questions politely with no underlying tone of friendship. By the time I was done with my dealings at the bank I thought, “It’s not going to happen. He didn’t even look at me.”

I was assured by the bank that I wouldn’t lose all my money to the crisis they were facing, but after a while, I lost everything. This was money I was working and investing to see myself through school. I almost broke down completely when I heard that things had taken a turn for the worse. I went to the bank and they told me there was nothing they could do about it. I was in pain.

I couldn’t stop thinking about all the ways I could have spent the money. I could have afforded myself expensive designer bags and shoes but I chose to invest it instead. “Now, the bank has swallowed my money and is blaming it on the financial crisis. What do I do?” I almost cried as I muttered these words to myself.

I stood outside the banking hall contemplating my fate when I saw someone approaching me. I didn’t think much of it until I saw who it was. It was my Prince Charming, Kofi. He had seen me through the glass doors and decided to come out and comfort me. He spoke to me at length and promised, “Now, you have an inside man. This means that I will help you recover your money as soon as we start the process.” I didn’t have my money in my hand but I left there feeling better.

As time passed, things started turning around. The issues they were facing had been resolved and I got my money back; the principal I invested, and the returns even increased.” I can’t explain the joy and relief I felt. I called Kofi and thanked him for all his help. To show my appreciation I asked him, “Can we meet outside your work? I want to get to know you.” I could hear in his voice that he was smiling as he said, “Sure, no problem.”

That conversation is what birthed an eighteen-month-long friendship. We spent a lot of time together but it was all in the name of friendship. He never declared any romantic feelings for me. I know some men don’t propose love to a woman yet try to initiate sex with them. Kofi did no such thing. No matter how close we got, he never flirted with me or did anything to indicate he desired me.

While I appreciated this trait of his, it filled my head with a lot of doubts. “Why hasn’t he made a move? Doesn’t he like me like that?” I often found myself wondering. It isn’t that I would have welcomed any sexual advances from him, it’s just that I am used to men trying to lay me after a first date. Of course, I never give them what they want but I had grown accustomed to such behavior. Kofi was the first man who got close to me and didn’t make such a move so it made me feel there was something wrong.

I am a devout Christian. That’s why I live a chaste life. It’s one of the reasons I am usually single. The men who come into my life insist on having a taste of me to decide if I am indeed ripe for marriage. I turn them down and they leave. Things with Kofi, however, were very different. He spent money on me although I never asked him to. The moment I mention in a conversation that I need to get something, he would either get it for me or send me money to buy it. Yet he never demanded a taste of me.

I was hopeful that once he was sure about me, he would do the needful. We became inseparable as our friendship grew. He was my confidante. He always showed up when I needed him. When my mum got seriously ill, it was Kofi who was my pillar. He handled the whole thing as if it was his mother who was sick. Even my mother who was sick took notice of his efforts and was so impressed.

After she was discharged from the hospital, my mum told me, “Hold on to this young man well. Good men like him are hard to find these days.” I was happy that my mother saw whatever it was we shared. I was so sure that it was just a matter of time before he would propose. I waited for several months but Kofi still wouldn’t say anything.

I would look in the mirror and wonder if I wasn’t beautiful enough for him. I ask this because men tell me I am beautiful all the time. Sometimes I would be walking with Kofi and a man would call me aside and slip his number into my hand. Whenever this happened, Kofi and I would laugh about their boldness.

Honestly, after waiting for him for so long I started thinking about forgetting about him and moving on with my life. It wasn’t an easy decision, considering that I had fallen deeply in love with him. I figured before I attempt to move on from him, I should have a conversation with him about us first.

I went to prepare food for him one day and after he finished eating I asked him, “What do you think of me? I am not talking about our friendship. I want to know how you as a man see me as a woman.” He told me my mum hasn’t fully recovered so we should wait for her full recovery before we discuss the subject. After waiting around for eighteen months, I should keep waiting? No, I wasn’t having that.

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I kept pushing him for answers until he finally cracked, “I don’t want to disappoint you but I am not single. I have a fiancée. We’ve been together for eight years now. I thought I wouldn’t marry her because of some problems but things have gone too far for me to back out.” To say that I was hurt, sad, and disappointed would be the understatement of a lifetime. Right in front of him, I broke down and started crying. All this while and he never mentioned another woman until now.

He consoled me while I cried. What even pained me was that there were no signs that he was courting someone else. Absolutely nothing to show for it. If I had seen anything that remotely suggested he was in a relationship, I would have walked away long ago. As a devout Christian, I made a vow not to take from another person, what does not belong to me so I started feeling guilty about our friendship. I took his fiancée’s number from him and apologized to her for sticking myself in their relationship.

I Didn’t Tell Anybody Because I Enjoyed It

Everything should have ended after my apology to his woman, right? Well, now there’s more. He still plans on marrying his longtime love. However, he says he wants to marry me too. He wants to make me his second wife after he has married her.

My whole life I have never envisioned myself as a second wife. As a Christian woman with a promising ministry in the house of God, I am torn between what my heart wants and what my faith requires. Being a second wife aside, Kofi doesn’t believe in churches. He says they are a scam even though he believes in God. This is another problem for me. It seems like an easy choice then but there’s nothing easy about the way I love him. He is everything I have ever wanted in a man and he makes me happy. Please, I need your advice on what to do in this situation.

—Sesi

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