Somewhere in 2016, I met a guy through a friend’s boyfriend. My friend’s boyfriend is called Kwame, while the guy he introduced me to is called Augustine. Although they are around the same age, Kwame is Augustine’s uncle. And we all met at my friend’s brother’s funeral.
Augustine lived en route where I lived so after the funeral, Kwame asked him to drop me off at home. This gave us the opportunity to talk deeply and get to know each other. After he dropped me off, we exchanged numbers and started talking from there.
The more we talked the closer we got. It felt like we had known each other our entire lives. I don’t even remember who proposed, or if there was any proposal at all. We just became an item. I cared deeply about him. And from all indications, I was assured he also cared about me. Our friends knew that we were together, and they cheered us on.
As the relationship progressed, I noticed that he always called one particular number. Whenever the number called him, he would drop everything and pick up the call.
There were times when he ran out of airtime and couldn’t call the person. Augustine would use my phone to call this person. I had no idea who this person was. I asked him questions but he didn’t give me any answers.
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I even saved the number so that I could find out who was on the other end. By doing this, I found out the lady’s name. I asked him who she was and he said they were just friends. Apart from his constant calls to the lady, there was nothing else to make me suspect he was lying. So I accepted his explanations.
One day I was there when my friends started calling me out of nowhere. I didn’t know what was going on. Usually, they would text me but that day they kept calling me until I picked up. The first thing one person said was, “Obaa, are you aware that Augustine has gotten married?” I had no idea what this was about. When she hung up another person called, “I didn’t know you and Augustine broke up until I found out he is married to someone else. Did you know about the wedding?”
At this point, I felt my friends had received false information. I didn’t want to involve Augustine in this either. So I went on Facebook and typed the lady’s name. To say that I was shocked is an understatement. I found wedding pictures of Augustine and this same lady whose issue kept coming up when we started dating.
I was not broken, I was completely shattered. I felt like my heart had stopped beating. I think I almost lost my mind. It took the grace of God, and support from my family and friends for me to survive the entire experience.
After him, I haven’t had any successful relationships. While he lived his life as though he didn’t leave me as collateral damage of his poor life choices. He had two kids with his wife. And I heard they were perfectly happy together.
Now here is the problem. Late last year, my friend called me that Kwame asked her for my number. The same Kwame that introduced me to his nephew but didn’t bother to tell me there was another woman in the picture. Initially, I told my friend not to give my number to him. But he and Augustine called her and pressured her into giving the number to them. When she told me this, I wasn’t mad. I just prepared myself mentally to receive what I presumed would be an unpleasant phone call.
It didn’t take long for Kwame to call me. When I answered he went straight to the point, “Obaa, I want to visit you. There’s something I need to discuss with you.” I just told him, “I don’t have a problem if you are coming alone. But if you want to come with your nephew, then don’t bother.” After I said this, he dropped the issue and hung up. They didn’t attempt to visit again either.
As I write this, the lady has been buried. Augustine and I talk quite often. This is because he wants me back. I am still scarred by how he left things in the past so I told him no. My friend said I should accept him back. But my brother and my male friend also say no. “If you had gone mad after what he did, would he have come back for you?” They asked.
Augustine has refused to look elsewhere. He says I’m the only one he can trust to be a good mother to his kids. This is why I am here today. This whole thing has me confused. I don’t know whether to give him another chance or insist on turning him away. Please I need advice. I am in a fragile place.