I Lost the Pregnancy Due To What He And His Landlord Did To Me

Kojo and I started dating two years ago. A lot has happened within this time frame, but I held on to hope that things would get better and stayed with him through it all. I supported this guy when he was down financially. I remember when he rented his apartment. He couldn’t afford to furnish it all by himself so I helped him. Even the way he decorated it was my idea.

After everything I did for him, he treated me however he wanted. This would get angry with me and insult me as if I don’t matter. There are days he gets so angry that he would beat me into a pulp. When I regain consciousness, I would think about the whole thing and tell myself, “I deserve better than the way this guy is treating me. I need to leave him.” Nonetheless, no matter how far I go, I would find myself right back in his arms.

Apart from his abusive nature, he is also a chronic cheat. I have lost count of the number of times I have caught him with different women. When I complain, he would either insult me or beat me. On bad days he would do both. The fact that I couldn’t leave him baffled me. I am not the kind of woman who loses herself to a man in the name of love. I always advise women in abusive relationships to run for their lives. So how come I allowed a man to treat me as if nobody has ever loved me?

I felt as if I had been bewitched. And to confirm my fears, Kojo made certain statements that frightened me. He would say things like, “As for me you can’t leave me unless I decide to let you go. You will try your best to run but I have locked the padlock so you will keep coming back to me.” Had it not been for the fact that I tried to leave him and failed, I wouldn’t have taken him seriously.

I couldn’t wrap my mind around the fact that I would go and meet him in bed with another lady, yet I would go back to him. He continually did things to hurt me but I never had it in me to choose myself. Sometimes he would disrespect me in front of his friends. And he wouldn’t apologize for humiliating me, yet I would carry my legs to him.

Two months ago, I found out that I was pregnant. When I told him about it he said, “Congratulations. You should keep it.” My sisters and brothers, after that conversation he couldn’t be bothered to check up on me. So for the entire month of June, I didn’t hear a peep from him. His behavior didn’t sit well with me but I decided to give him some time to come to terms with the pregnancy. If he did, there were no signs to show for it.

Last Sunday I went to his place. I was going to take money for antenatal clinic seeing as July marked the end of the first trimester. Before I recount the horrid details of what he did to me that day, let me talk about the time I met his landlord’s daughter in his room. He told me the lady is just a friend but she treated me with so much contempt that I know she is more than just a friend to him. I think her father must be in support of the relationship. That’s the only explanation for what he also did.

So here’s what happened. I asked Kojo to give me money for antenatal, and he said he didn’t have it. “This child growing inside me is something we did together. So don’t leave the responsibility for me to bear alone.” This guy told me point-blank, “This pregnancy kroaa, I don’t think it’s mine. So stop worrying me. I don’t have money for you.” I got upset and shouted, “Kojo, I swear on my womb, God, nature and everything in the universe that I have not desired another man, let alone sleep with one. You are the only person I have been with.”

The landlord heard my cry and rushed into the room. He asked if everything was okay, and Kojo told him, “Please help me drag her out. She is disturbing my peace.” To my surprise, this landlord grabbed me and dragged me all over the floor. It was raining so the whole place was muddy. He dragged me through the mud and ordered Kojo to enter his room and lock the door. Then he took me outside and locked the gate behind me.

I had to walk in the rain to my house. I was in so much pain (both physically and emotionally) when I got home. I didn’t have anyone to talk to so I cried silently into my pillow. I made it through one of the darkest nights of my life, only to wake up the next morning to find my sheets covered in blood.

When I went to the hospital, the doctor said I had miscarried. He had to do DNC to get rid of everything. After the way he behaved, I was not surprised when he didn’t call to check up on me.

I am better now but don’t want to let this guy go scot-free for what he did. I am pained that he had me dragged out of a room I helped him furnish and decorate. The more I think about everything, the angrier I get. My mind is clouded with bad thoughts. I want to do something bad to him and his landlord. People who know about our relationship are angry about the way things ended. They have recommended a few places I can take them to, for retribution.

My question is, are they worth the trouble? Should I let them be? If yes, then how do I overcome the pain I am feeling in my heart against them? I am also afraid that whatever spell he cast on me is not broken. I feel so weak emotionally. I know I want nothing to do with him anymore. But how do I stand my ground and not go running to e if he comes calling? Please I need help. I can’t keep doing this to myself.