He Loves Her More Than He Loves Me But We Are Both His Wives

A year after we got married, my husband reconnected with his long-lost girlfriend. According to what I gathered, they were madly in love before the lady travelled outside the country. He met me after they lost contact. He married me with the belief that he would never see her again. As far as I knew, I was the queen of his heart. He made me feel he couldn’t possibly love anyone the way he loves me. So when I said yes to his marriage proposal, I was certain that he would have eyes for no other woman besides me.

So I was really shocked when a year after our marriage, my husband’s old love waltzed back into his life. I was concerned about her presence but he assured me, “Honey, you have nothing to worry about. She is an old flame the wind blew back my way. I will let her know that I am a married man now and allow her to move on.” Until then, he had not done anything to make me distrust him so I gave him the benefit of the doubt.

The next thing I realized was my husband making late-night calls, and sneaking off to meet whoever called him at such ungodly hours. I complained but my complaints fell on deaf ears. Things progressed quickly before I could place my finger on what was going on. My man started to go about his day with a bounce in his steps. He had a certain happiness that I knew he didn’t get from me. He easily smiled and was always in a good mood. “What’s going on?” I would ask him. “Something good is coming my way,” he would respond.

It didn’t take long for me to find out the good thing coming his way was a second wife. Yes, instead of quenching the old flame of his long-lost love, he rekindled it and decided to legitimize their adulterous affair by marrying her. The day I found out I screamed, “Dave, how could you? How could you even think of marrying another woman? Apart from the fact that our marriage is too young for this, you are a Christian, the Bible teaches against polygamy.” He responded, “If God was against polygamy, he would not have blessed King Solomon who had a thousand women at his beck and call.” I vehemently objected to the marriage but he didn’t mind me. He went ahead and did what he wanted.

It’s been eighteen years now since we’ve been married. We have two beautiful girls together, and he has four children with his other woman. Everything he does for me, he does for her as well. He has built a nice house for me and my daughters, so he has built a nice house for his other wife and her children as well. All of our kids are in prestigious schools. Because of my husband, I have travelled to different countries in the world. My rival has also done a lot of travelling thanks to my husband.

I haven’t worked a single day since we got married. My housekeeping money alone for a month is more than someone’s six months’ salary. I can’t complain in this regard and also can’t deny the fact that my husband is an amazing father and a generous husband. I don’t lack anything physically or financially. On the outside, I look like a woman who is living the dream. People close to me benefit from my marriage and they assume that I must be the happiest woman alive. What they do not know is that I am in emotional torment.

I am married to a man who married the love of his life after he married me. How is that supposed to turn out for me emotionally? There is no doubt in my heart that he does not love me as much as he loves her. He shares all his ideas, pain, problems, and joys with her. He spends more time with her than he does with me. They are always travelling together and he is always sharing happy moments with her. You would think she is his official wife by just watching them from afar.

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Over the years I have watched on as my husband and his second wife act like one big happy family while I feel like an intruder in my own marriage. I have tried all I can to make my husband love me more but it seems I might have a better chance of seducing a eunuch. It got to a point where I got frustrated and gave him an ultimatum, “Dave, I am tired of this thing we have going on. If you don’t want me to leave this marriage with my children then break up your second marriage. In the eyes of the law, it’s not even legal.”

Should I Choose My Wife And Her Son Over My Daughter?–Beads Media

He told me, “I am sorry you feel this way but I cannot do away with her and our children. Accept the fact that I am married to the two of you and let peace reign.” I am very sure that if he was giving me half the attention he gives her, I wouldn’t feel this miserable. Now I have reached my breaking point and I just want to divorce him for my peace of mind. My fear is that in this difficult economy, who is going to provide for me and my children’s needs the way my husband does?

A part of me enjoys the luxurious and soft life my husband has given me, but another part of me is breaking into pieces knowing I do not have my husband all to myself, and that he shares himself with another woman. I have spoken to his family about the pain I am feeling in the marriage but no one seems to care. They haven’t said it to my face but I can tell they want me to shut up and put up. So I am wondering, what do I do in this situation? Do I put up with his emotional neglect because of luxury, or should I walk away and face whatever hardships await me?

–Sheba

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