Everything I Saw Makes Me Believe That My Wife Had An Affair With Her Crush That Night

I’m not a social media person. It’s my wife who goes there and comes with the news. On an ordinary day, I will like to watch movies, listen to music or do anything else than be on social media. If I have to read trending news, it’s Facebook I get it from. That’s the only social media app I use but my wife is on all the apps you can think of. She’s not just there, but whatever happens there she partakes in them. I’m not a man to restrict her movement or tell her what to do. I believe women or our partners are always at their best when we give them the freedom to explore what makes them happy as far as it doesn’t hurt the relationship.

So my wife will attend programs she found on social media. It could be prayer meetings, it could be picnics, it could be whatever tickles her fancy. I don’t restrict her. I will stay behind with our two kids while she goes and comes with the news.

Not too long ago she told me about their SHS school reunion. She couldn’t keep quiet about it. Every minute she went on Whatsapp she came up with something new about the event. From all indications, she was happy she was going to meet her mates after seventeen years of leaving school. When the day arrived, she left early in the morning and called when she got to the venue.

I was expecting her to be home around 6 pm but she wasn’t home at that time. At 7 pm, I called her and she told me, “We are at the climax of the program. Don’t worry about me, I’m fine but I will come home before 9 pm.”

She got home after 10 pm when the kids were already sleeping. I wasn’t happy about the time she came home so I made my feelings known to her. She said, “I’m sorry about that but I couldn’t leave when the program had gotten to its climax. Maybe next time you should go with me so you don’t have to worry about the time I get back home.” Her apology wasn’t enough but I let things go. She had had a long day and fighting her wouldn’t be the best option.

She went to the bath and came to bed smelling like a new flower. I tried touching her but she put my hands away. “I’m tired. Will you die if you allow me to have a full night’s rest?” I didn’t attempt again until early morning before the sun came up. Again, she threw my hands off her. I got up and went to see the kids while she was sleeping. When I came back into the room she was still in bed while her phone’s screen flickered. There was a message on the screen that got my interest. I touched the screen and read the message.

“I’m happy you had fun. I did too. I’m around whenever you need me.”

The message didn’t sound like a beginning of a conversation. It sounded like a lot had been said already so I decided to go into the phone to see what had already been said.

My wife sent a text to this guy around 11 pm saying, “Thank you for making my night. I really enjoyed it. I hope it doesn’t end here. Good night.” The guy’s name had been saved as Tosh.

That name came up in one of the stories he told me when we were dating. He was the guy he was crushing on when she was in SHS. From the story, she told me, they never spoke until a few days before they completed school. She realized the guy also liked her and was angry the guy didn’t say it until they completed school. That was it. Seeing Tosh on her Whatsapp rang a bell but most of the chat had been deleted except the one she sent in the night and a couple of others that didn’t mean anything.

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I went to her Facebook Messenger and also saw a chat between them. Their conversation became consistent a few weeks before the program. Again, if you read the messages carefully and follow the line of conversation, you’ll realize a chunk of the messages had been deleted. It didn’t feel right. Looking at how tired she looked while sleeping made it look like a lot more happened than a mere reunion. I took my time to check the photos of the night. There were about three different locations where she took photos with friends and Tosh. The busy scene where they had the program, outside of the venue and another venue that looked different from the other two.

I was convinced my wife had slept with her SHS crush.

When she woke up, I sat her down and told her everything I had done while she was sleeping. I showed her the messages, the photos, spoke about the differences in the background of the photos and reminded her of the story she told me about Tosh. I concluded, “If you tell me the truth, we’ll settle it right here and now. If you lie to me, things will get worse. What did you do with Tosh while at the program?”

She was visibly shaking but was trying hard to make it unseen. She said, “So, you did all that because you think I will sell myself cheap to someone I knew while I was a girl? I have two kids. I’m a married woman. He has three kids and is a married man. Why would I stoop that low to do that with him when I know I have a husband waiting for me in the house? Wherever we went, there were other mates. Nothing happened. My message was just an appreciation. Everything I drank or ate there, he paid for it hence the appreciation. I never knew you didn’t have trust for me, I would have been careful.”

She rather took offence and left the discussion. She concluded, “That’s the truth. If you think it’s a lie, you can do whatever you want to do but make sure nothing breaks because it would be hard to fix it after that.”

I know a couple of her friends but I can’t go and ask them questions about the night. Something might break. I know the Facebook account of Tosh. I have his number and even know where he works. Yes, I’ve done all that investigations but I can’t approach him and ask the questions I want to ask because something might break. All my life, I hadn’t suspected my wife until I saw those messages. I know she’s a fun-loving person and would do a lot just to have fun but I can’t also discount what I read and what my intuition is telling me just because of my wife’s past records.

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I’m worried. I want someone to talk to about this. She’s rather asking me to apologize to her if I want things to get back to normal. I feel she’s being manipulative. I didn’t get to the crust of the issue and she knows it. She knows there’s nothing to nail her on hence the show of bravado but I’m not a child. My intuition hadn’t been this strong. I want to ask, doesn’t this sound like infidelity? If you were in my shoes would you have let things go because of her explanation even though you believe something might have happened? I need opinions to clear my head because my marriage is being greatly affected. My kids are picking up the wrong energy and are asking questions. I want closure but that closure can only come from knowing the truth. What’s the truth?

–Joel

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