What Will Make A Woman Refuse To Spend Time With Her Boyfriend For One Year?

I met Ewurabena around this time last year. It was at a very reputable organization. I went there to do some business transactions and met her working there. Even though I was very professional in my interaction with her I couldn’t help but think, “Wow, this lady is beautiful.” When she got up to file some paperwork, I almost came undone by watching the way her curves filled out her pencil skirt. “Every part of this lady’s body is generously endowed,” I thought to myself as I hoped it wasn’t too obvious that I was ogling her. How could I not? She is the embodiment of African beauty; skin the colour of cocoa beans, hair the shade of midnight, and a smile as radiant as the sun. I couldn’t walk away from the transaction without asking for her number.

At the close of the day, I texted her. She responded to my text promptly and we got into it. We texted throughout the Christmas season and continued into this year. Although I was very much attracted to her I didn’t want to rush things between us. I was looking for a woman I can settle down and build a home with, not just a casual fling. And from my communication with Ewura, I had the feeling she was everything I was looking for in a wife. No one is perfect, but she seemed like the perfect fit for me. Beauty, brains, and the fear of God, she had them all in no particular order. The thing that even made me happier was the fact that we belong to the same church.

The closer we got the more I liked Ewura, but I still didn’t make a move. I wanted to be sure that she was interested in me as much as I was in her, in order to avoid any awkwardness if she didn’t like me like that. Fortunately, I didn’t have to wait for long. When Val’s day was approaching, I let her know that I would be at her office on Val’s day for another business transaction. She seemed very nonchalant about the news. I even thought she didn’t want to see me. But I was pleasantly surprised when I showed up at her office that day and she gave me a present saying, “I got you something for Valentine’s day, I hope you like it.” I was even shy, seeing as I didn’t get her a gift. “Well, now I feel bad that the only thing I brought you is lunch,” I said as I handed her the food. She didn’t mind. She was rather pleased that I bought her food. I also took her present as a good sign.

After that day, Ewura started calling me on video calls, instead of simply texting me like we usually did. I took that too as a good sign. And as the days went by, her calls became very frequent. Her enthusiasm made me believe that she was interested in me in the same way I felt about her. So one day during our conversations I told her, “I don’t know if you’ve noticed this yet but I like you. I want us to be together, and study each other for marriage.” I felt the smile in her voice as she said, “I don’t know if you’ve noticed this but I also like you. And I agree to your proposal. Let’s be together and study each other for marriage.” That simple conversation began the journey of our relationship.

On the first weekend of our relationship, I suggested that we go out on a date to talk and spend some quality time together. My girlfriend told me, “Because of the stressful nature of my job, I use my weekends to clean, cook, and do laundry. By the time I am done with these activities, I have little time to rest before the start of another week.” I was a little disappointed to hear this but I tried to be understanding. I figured that as time goes on, she would adjust her schedule and find a place for me. Unfortunately, that was never the case. She never had any time to spare for me. Even on public holidays, I wouldn’t get to see her. One time I managed to convince her, “If it is because you don’t want me to waste your time then pick a place close to your house. We will meet for just a brief moment and then you can go back home to rest.”

She agreed to meet me but two hours before the meeting time she texted me, “I am sorry to disappoint you once again but I can’t make it.” Honestly, I couldn’t make sense of her behaviour, but I hoped something positive would turn out. What surprised me was, despite her reluctance to spend time with me outside her workplace, she was very consistent with phone calls and text messages. She was also very possessive of me. She didn’t want me to talk to other women when I go to do business at her workplace. She would get angry and extremely jealous if I smiled at someone in a way that didn’t sit right with her. All this was very confusing for me, but I was patient with her.

Since I met her last year till now, the only place we have met in person was always at her office. Since she refused to go out with me, I always gave her lunch when I showed up. That was even on days I had to go do business there. So if for two months my business takes me elsewhere, I wouldn’t see my girlfriend throughout the duration. Just when Christmas was approaching she told me, “I have moved from my old apartment to a new place. Now I need money to furnish the place, can you help?” “How much are we talking about?” I asked. “I need GHC8000 but you can give me GHC4000 to start, and then give me the balance later.” I agreed to give her the money but before I could send her the money a thought occurred to me, “Why doesn’t she want to spend time with me yet she wants me to furnish her apartment for her?”

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So I asked her, “What are we doing as a couple this Christmas? I believe this is the perfect opportunity for us to see each other outside the corporate world.” She answered, “Yes you are right. This is our chance to get together. However, it’s unfortunate that my work didn’t give us a Christmas break. We only have free weekends. I am sorry.” I was tempted to believe her but my instincts told me to ask a few other people first. Luckily I was friends with a guy from her office so I called him. After our conversation, I found out that Ewura’s office gave them a Christmas break from the 22nd of December and they resumed on the 28^th of December. I was so hurt when I found this out. I kept wondering why she would lie to me about something like this. Does she find my presence so repulsive that she would say anything to get out of being out with me on a date? A lot of things run through my head but I didn’t confront her. I just started ignoring her.

She has texted and called me throughout the holidays but I have ignored her. When I saw that her calls became too incessant, I blocked her number. I then proceeded to block her on WhatsApp and on all other social media platforms. I am still very hurt when I think about what she did. I am also wondering if I did the right thing by blocking her without giving her the opportunity to explain her actions. Did I do the right thing, or should have been a little more patient with her?

–Abel

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