If She Dies Today, I Will Cry But I Will Never Forgive Her Corpse

I was with Linda when Solo walked up to me and said he knew me. I was looking at him, trying hard to recall where I knew him from. He asked, “Can you excuse me for a while? I promise it won’t be long.” I looked at Linda. Her face showed disapproval but I couldn’t also say no to Solo. There were other people around and I felt he would be embarrassed if I said no. I told Linda, “I’ll be back in a jiffy” and followed Solo out of the lounge. 

The place was made of glasses so I could see Linda even when we were out. While we were talking, she kept giving me signs that I should ignore him and come back and that I was taking too long. Solo didn’t lie. He knew me from a long-time friend who I was in SHS with. According to him, he lived in the same house with my friend so whenever I went home with her, he saw us. “It’s been very long but you still made me out. Haven’t I changed that much?” I asked him. He answered, “If you know someone and they change, you still will know them because some things never change.” 

I stood outside with him for about five minutes, talking about those days and where he had been. When it was time to go he told me, “Let me at least pay for your drinks and also say sorry to your friend for snatching you away for that long.” We went inside, he apologized to Linda and paid for our drinks. He told us, “You can get whatever you want, just leave the bill for me.” Linda was still not enthused. She didn’t smile or say anything until Solo told me, “I will call you maybe tomorrow.”

When Solo left, the first thing Linda said was, “You gave him your number? Do you trust him that much? All these men who approach ladies at the bar and use that archaic line ‘it seems I know you somewhere” should not be taken seriously. He’s just coming to break your heart and destroy your future. Look at him, he’s a playboy.” I laughed. I said,  “Linda, you don’t even know him. How can he be a playboy just because he came to say hello? It’s true that he knows me. He was once living in the house of a childhood friend of mine. He didn’t lie.” She chuckled and said, “Tell him we can pay for our drinks. We don’t need his chicken change.”

I was surprised how she could hate a stranger just because he came for me. Linda had been a friend for so many years. I knew her very well and I trusted she was just not serious about what she was saying. Solo called that very day and asked if I was home. He told me he wanted to be a friend. “When we were young, I wanted to be a friend so much that anytime you came around I wanted to say something to you but I was shy you would insult me. Now that we are here, at least let me be closer to you.” I laughed at him and told him nothing stops us from being friends. 

He called often and asked me out often. Unfortunately, the time he had wasn’t favourable to me so we couldn’t go out. He was persistent. I was with Linda when he called one day. He asked if I was free that day and again I said no. He told me, “I’m available all week so try and let’s meet again.” 

When I told Linda it was Solo who called she got angry. “And you’re talking to him nicely like that? Or you two have started dating?” I laughed it off; “We met barely a week ago. How can we start dating?” She said, “It looks like you like that guy because it surprises me how you easily fell for his story. And see how you talked to him, it’s like you’re getting married tomorrow. Be careful ooo. Men who appear out of nowhere take you nowhere. You and I know that.” 

Because she didn’t like Solo that much, I stopped talking to her about him. That’s how come she didn’t know that Solo had proposed to me and I had said yes. I kept all that information from her because I knew she wouldn’t support me.

We dated for over six months before Linda finally got to know about it. Solo had travelled abroad for a month’s project. I was spending a lot of time with Linda so I thought I should finally tell her what had been happening for the last six months. “So I’m dating Solo now. We’ve been doing it for a while now. I know you don’t like him but he’s a good guy trust me.”

“He’s a good guy? You said the same about Joseph. You said the same about Eric. When you met Efo, you said the same thing about him. In the end, he got you pregnant and denied responsibility. It’s for these reasons I don’t trust your judgment when it comes to good men. I don’t wish you bad but we are here. When it goes well, Hallelujah. I’ll rejoice with you but…”

“There’s no but, Linda. I know what I’m talking about. Do you know he bought my engagement ring yesterday? Do you know I’ve met his parents? Do you know they call me “In-law?” Do you know he said we are getting married early next year? Everything is going fast with this one and it only means one thing; he’s good for me.”

She sat still while looking at me. “It seems I’ve lost a lot. When did this happen? You’ve done all these and I don’t know about it?”

After this conversation, she started pulling off from me. I asked what the problem was and she said she was fine. But she didn’t call or even watch my status. She tried to avoid me in every way possible. I called to apologize if I’d offended her in any way. I told her, “You’re everything I have right now. You can’t be angry with me at this time when things look right. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you right from the beginning but I’m telling you now because I want you to be at the centre of everything.” 

The relationship became lukewarm but I tried to hang on. When Solo came back, I went with him to Linda’s house to visit her. When she saw us, she jumped up happily and welcomed us nicely. She said, “You didn’t tell me you were coming with him, I would have prepared something nice for you both.” I was happy that she was happy. She related nicely to Solo and even advised him to keep hold of me very well. “The way my friend loves you, I don’t want it to become a nine-day wonder ooo. Treat her well. If you mess up with her, I’ll come after you myself.” We all laughed about it, had fun and later left. 

Solo travelled again for another project. He was going to spend two months there so obviously I was spending more time with Linda. The thing about me and Linda is that we both travelled from our hometown to come to work in Accra so we were like a family. We go back home together and When we travel back home, she stays in my house because she could have one room to herself, unlike her house that she had to share with her junior siblings. It’s the reason I wanted to keep her close by all means. 

A few days after Solo had travelled, he started giving me cold shoulders. He wouldn’t call and wouldn’t respond to my messages. I thought it was work that was keeping him busy but the attitude prolonged until I felt uneasy. I started asking questions. When I was on the phone with him he wouldn’t say anything until I ask a question. I was worried. My heart was breaking and I couldn’t sit still. One day I pushed him to the wall and he asked, “Why didn’t you tell me that you won’t be able to give birth?” I was like, “Are you talking to me? I won’t be able to give birth? Me?” He repeated the same question again and I told him, “I can give birth, why can’t I? He dropped the bomb calmly as if it was nothing; “You had an abortion and you were told you won’t be able to give birth again. Why are you hiding it from me?”

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I was stunned! “Who are you talking to? Obviously, the person is lying to you. Why can’t I give birth?” He was very calm throughout the conversation. The kind of calm that feels cold. Then he changed the question, “Have you had an abortion before?” I  also asked, “Who are you talking to?” He kept repeating his question and I kept repeating mine. I told him, “If you want to know the truth, you should tell me who you’re talking to or else we’ll be going around in circles.” 

He sent me screenshots of a conversation I’ve had with Linda about five years ago. We were talking about the pregnancy I had with Efo and what I was going to do with it. Some of the screenshots also talked about the pain I was going through after the abortion. I was so shocked I started laughing. T

Right after the laughter, I burst out crying. “So she’s the one feeding you with that information?” He answered, “No I didn’t get it from her. She sent them to somebody and that somebody also sent it to someone and it ended up here with me.” He was lying and it showed. I told him, “I will be here when you return. Yes, I did it because I was in school. I did it the safest way and I’m fine. It’s my past but if you’ll use it against me, that’s fine.”

I hung up the call and cried a little. I called Linda and asked why she did what she did. She screamed over the phone; “Me? Why will I do that? Solo told you that I sent him screenshots? I don’t even have his number.” I said, “Linda, why are you lying? Is it my happiness you don’t want or it’s Solo you want for yourself?” She swore heaven and earth that it wasn’t her. Days later, Solo sent me a message and confirmed that it was Linda who sent the screenshot and he was amazed at how she could do that. He told me, “When I come, we’ll go to the hospital and check if everything is fine before we go ahead with anything.” I responded, “I don’t have anything to prove to you. You trusted her and avoided me for days. Go on. I’m no longer interested in anything. Maybe she likes you. Go for her.” 

I called Linda’s parents and told them everything. They didn’t believe me. They asked if I’d offended Linda in any way. I said, “Mom, Linda is my sister so even if I offended her, is that the best way to deal with me?” They still couldn’t believe their daughter would do such a thing. I called my parents and told them too. My mom cried on the phone. Dad said he’ll do something to Linda if he should come face to face with her. 

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I was called home one day and I saw a goat and drinks in the hall. My dad said it was Linda’s parents who came to apologise to them with those items so they called me to ask me to let things go. Another time I went home on a call from my parents. It was Solo I saw this time. He had come to my parents because I was avoiding his calls. He asked me to forgive so things will go back to normal again. I told him I was fine but won’t be with him again looking at how he knows my past and how he reacted to it. “If someday childbearing becomes a problem, you’ll blame me and remind me of my past. No, I won’t do it.” 

He still comes around begging me to change my mind. I’ve never seen Linda since this issue started. She’s using people to plead her case. She’s the one I will never forgive and forget what she did to me. I don’t hate her but I’ll never forgive her. I don’t wish bad things on her but I’ll never forgive what she did to me. If she dies today, I will cry for old-time sake but I still won’t forgive her. She doesn’t deserve that. If she could do that to someone who hasn’t offended her in any way, then she has an evil heart and forgiveness can’t help such a heart. 

–E.M

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