He Made Me Feel Like Dating Him Was A Waste Of Time

I am not proud to admit this but there was a time in my life when I was in a relationship with a married man. Honestly, I don’t even know how I got into that situation. For an entire year, I convinced myself that I was in love with this man. It wasn’t the typical sugar daddy relationship where young women date married men because of money. What I shared with him went beyond physical and material exchange. Don’t get me wrong, he was a wealthy man.

I believe we would have still been together had it not been for last year’s Valentine’s day. I was in my room that morning when he came knocking on my door. I looked at the time and saw that it was 7 AM. It was early, even for him.

As soon as I let him into my apartment he said, “Babe, get dressed. I want to take you out.” His excitement was infectious. I was curious to know what he had planned but then again, it was too early to go out. I remember telling him, “By this time, it’s crowded outside. People would be out and about with their lovers. We may run into someone both or either of us knows, so let’s just stay at home.”

He agreed to stay home with me but around 9 PM, he asked again that we go out. “I thought we had a good time staying at home,” I said to him. He nodded, “We did but I want to buy you some stuff to celebrate the day.” He had showed up at my place that morning without any presents so I figured if we went out, he would make up for that.

I really didn’t want to go out but what could I have done? I hesitantly put on my clothes, brushed my hair, made myself look presentable to the outside world, and we stepped out. I thought he had something expensive planned. So I got excited the moment we got to the shopping mart. To my utter disappointment, this man picked out one of those ice creams in a small cup for me. It wasn’t even an expensive brand.

Honestly, I didn’t know whether to cry or laugh. Should I be happy that he made the effort to buy me something, at least? Or I should be sad that a man who could afford to buy me a decent present chose to buy me cheap ice cream in a small cup? I didn’t know where to stand on this.

Between the two of us, he was the one with the money. Yet, when Val’s day was approaching, I thought about doing something nice for him. I gathered money and bought him an expensive designer T-shirt, and added a nice pair of slippers to it. I felt he didn’t put any thought into buying me a gift. He just wanted us to go out so he would feel like he was part of the celebration.

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After that night, I told myself, “If I wanted to eat fan ice on Valentine’s Day, I could have easily bought some for myself. The fact that it was the gift my rich married boyfriend bought for me even as an afterthought means I am in a relationship with a stingy man. Why should I continue to waste my time with such a person?

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I ended the relationship with him that very day. Of course, I didn’t tell him I was leaving him. That would require me to give him my reasons for leaving. And I didn’t want to go into it so I just ghosted him. I’m sure he still doesn’t know what he did to date.

Throughout the relationship, he never freely gave me stuff. He expected me to ask for things before he would give. I am not one to ask a man for stuff, so I never got things from him. I was managing him like that until his behavior during last year’s Valentine’s Day. It made me realize he wasn’t worth any of my efforts.

#MyValsDayStory

—Marigold

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