We Are Married But He Has Chosen To Live Alone

A man I was certain I was going to spend the rest of my life with broke up with me for no reason. I remember crying in my room that Sunday morning before I went to church. While we were praying during the service, I put my broken heart before God and asked him to heal me. I also told him, “God, I am tired of meeting the wrong men. Please, the next man I meet has to be my husband.” The good book says God does not turn away a broken and contrite heart so I believed strongly that my prayer was not unheard by Him.

I had to go to work right after the church service ended, so I rushed into the next available car that came my way. After I sat down, I realized the seats were so small and I was uncomfortable. There was a gentleman sitting in front of me. He noticed my discomfort and tried to adjust his seat to give me more room but it just didn’t work. Still, I was grateful that he tried.

At some point during our journey, all the other passengers alighted from the car and it was left with just me and this nice gentleman. He took the opportunity to say hello to me and asked for my number. I gave it to him but didn’t take his. I expected his call or text later that day but it didn’t come. I didn’t hear from him the next day either. It was on the third day that he finally called. That day we spoke at length and I really liked his personality. We spoke every day after that first phone call. Kweku was a really sweet and caring guy who wore his heart on his sleeve. There is something about a man’s vulnerability that makes him desirable. So I was naturally drawn to him like a moth to a flame.

I don’t remember proposing to him. I knew how I felt about him and he knew too. He also never proposed to me, but I knew how he felt about me. I know it sounds crazy but the next thing I knew, we were making marriage plans. God does listen to the prayers of a broken heart. I took him home to meet my family and they approved of him. He also took me home to meet his family and they loved me. Shortly after that, formal introductions were made. We continued to have a simple yet elegant wedding in a short time.

Three days after we got married, my husband had to travel for work so we didn’t have a honeymoon. When he returned he didn’t have his wedding ring on. “What happened to your ring?” I asked. He answered, “I lost it while I was washing my hands. Don’t worry, I will replace it.” As I write this, he hasn’t replaced it, but that’s not even my problem. One of the things we agreed to before we got married was to wait for six months before we start trying for a baby. We were able to stick to this plan and when we started trying, we conceived without any stress.

God blessed us with a beautiful girl and the entire family was happy. My life was going great, and everything was running smoothly until I had to resume work. We didn’t want anyone to come and stay with us so the only other option was to send the baby to my mother’s place every morning before work, and whichever of us closed first from work would go pick her up. Plans are easier said than done, aren’t they? My husband mostly works from home so it would be much easier for him to pick up the baby from my mum’s but he wouldn’t. I would close from work at 5:00 PM and get to my mother’s by 8 before I pick up the baby and make it home by 9.

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I spoke to him about it but he refused to budge. Then I got pregnant with my second child. When my due date was approaching, this man got a contract and had to travel for work. So I moved to my mother’s place to deliver. After delivery, our rent was due. I suggested to my husband, “Let us rent a place near mother’s house so that it would be easier to send the kids to her when I need to.” He listened to me alright but went ahead to rent a place that is three times further from my mother’s place.

I have spoken to move closer but he wouldn’t listen. I have asked his mother and sister to speak to him on my behalf and all he says is, “I don’t have the money it will cost to move closer to your mother’s place.” “I have some money saved up. I will support you,” I told him. But he told me to keep my money. So I am currently living with my mother. It is the only way I would get the help I need with the kids.

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Right now, when the kids want to see their daddy, I would have to close from work and pick them up at my mum’s place before I take them to him. Sometimes I would have to wait till we meet him at church. I don’t understand the whole marriage. He is living in an apartment all by himself while the kids and I are living with my mother. All this will be resolved if he agrees to rent a place close to my mum’s. Why is this so difficult for him to do?

I have talked to him several times but he is stuck in his ways. I am even beginning to suspect that he is hiding something from me. I have made up my mind to rent a place close to my mum’s so I can move out of my mother’s house. I am hoping when I do that, he will join us. But until then, I am very concerned about his behavior. Am I right to worry that he is hiding something?