Our Finances Are Suffering Due to the Expenses Incurred by the Girl My Husband Brought Home

A few months ago, my spouse brought a young girl home, explaining that she was an orphan without anyone to care for her. My husband, being an empathetic person, wanted to offer her a better life since she was living in an unfinished building with others and working as an apprentice with no income. He asked me to take care of her, and out of compassion, I agreed to let her stay with us.

On her first night, I served her dinner, which she ate without any complaints. The following morning, I provided her with money for breakfast, and in the afternoon, I sent her lunch, which she accepted without issue. On the third day, a Saturday, I decided to cook jollof rice for the entire household. While I was cleaning the house, I took out some chicken from the freezer to thaw.

Unexpectedly, the girl approached me and asked if I was going to make soup. I replied negatively and inquired why she asked. She explained that chicken back is typically used for soup, which surprised me. I informed her that I intended to fry the chicken and use it for the jollof rice. She made a face, expressing her opinion that chicken back didn’t look appetizing when fried, suggesting I should have bought thighs or wings instead. I was taken aback and unable to respond, so I simply turned away and continued with my chores.

After finishing the cooking, I served the jollof rice with salad, intentionally excluding the chicken to avoid offending her with the “non-appetizing” chicken. However, to my surprise, she went to the pot and helped herself to the meat without seeking permission. Although it bothered me, I chose to ignore her actions.

Little did I know that her attitude toward the chicken was just the beginning of her pickiness when it came to food. As time passed, she revealed her distaste for the slightly burnt part of rice known as “kanzo.” She refused to eat traditional Ghanaian dishes like Banku and Kokonte, and she would discard fufu or any other food I served her if she wasn’t in the mood for it. Even if no one else had eaten yet, she would help herself to the soup and take whatever she liked from it.

When she made Milo, she would use an excessive amount of milk, while the amount of Milo itself was scooped as if she were gathering sand from the seashore. Her habits caused our provisions to deplete at an alarming rate. Eventually, I had to establish some rules to regulate her eating habits when I could no longer tolerate it. It pained me to impose such restrictions, but I believed it was necessary.

Despite the rules I put in place, she managed to consume an entire tin of Milo in just four days. The final straw was when she poured water into a perfectly good pot of jollof rice. I didn’t want it to seem like I was mistreating her while trying to discipline her, but I couldn’t tolerate such wastefulness, particularly in the current economic climate. I confronted her and gave her an ultimatum, stating that she needed to manage her food consumption in the same way we all did, or she would have to find somewhere else to live. In her defense, she claimed ignorance, stating that her behavior around food was influenced by the affluent families she had lived with.

However, I know she is not being truthful. Despite living with wealthy individuals, her own family is extremely poor and unable to provide her with regular meals, which is why she ends up living with others. One would expect someone from such a background to understand the importance of not wasting food, but that’s not the case with her. I shared the ultimatum with my husband, but he disagrees, believing that we should teach her proper behavior and that she will eventually learn. However, I have doubts about her ability to change. My own children have been raised to be mindful of wastefulness from a young age, and I fear that this girl, having lived with various influences, will not truly appreciate or internalize the lessons I try to impart. Ultimately, I believe it will be me who suffers the consequences.

Now, I am faced with a difficult decision. Should I listen to my husband’s perspective and allow her to stay, hoping that with time and guidance she will learn to behave responsibly? Or should I trust my instincts, which tell me that her behavior may persist and negatively impact our household?

I am seeking your advice. What do you suggest I do in this situation?