My Wife Doesn’t Allow Me Into Her Kingdom Until I Pamper Her

It started with a pet name. She asked that I give her a pet name and ensure I call her by that pet name all the time. She’s my wife but she didn’t want me to call her sweetheart, darling or sweetie pie. She said those names were archaic. I couldn’t think of any so she picked one for herself and asked me to call her by that.

She doesn’t initiate sex. She says it’s not a woman’s duty to initiate. I always do but before she would agree to do it with me, I have to pamper her. She said, “Pampering is the only love language I know. Pamper before you enter.”

I would sing her favourite songs or make tea for her or just run a few errands just for the sake of it. Sometimes, I will have to carry her at my back like a baby and sing lullaby. You should be here with us to see how I get stressed before I get one round.

At first, I thought it was some kind of play because when we were dating, it wasn’t like that. We dated for a year before marriage. She never for once called for these activities before sex. I took it as something that brings play into our marital life but recently, it’s getting out of hand.

Sometimes I have to start the pampering from the afternoon when she’s at work and the annoying thing is, she would be the one to ask for it. She would be like, “Charles, if you know today you’ll do it, then start work early ooo.” I would text her naughty stuff and she would give me marks. Until I score 100% nothing for me.

Sometimes I’m not in the mood to play. I just want to get to business and go my way but this wife of mine won’t open the kingdom for me until I perform an act of service. And the thing is, it’s not all the time I get a reward for my work ooo. Some days I will do everything and still not get it.

So I’ve learned to ignore her. I don’t try to touch her or pamper her. When she asks me, I tell her I’m not in the mood. We’ve gone one week and still nothing. I thought my abstinence would make her change her tactics and rush for me but no. She’s still insisting on pampering before action. What kind of play is that? Is the way she takes it seriously that makes me worried.

She’s not the last born too ooo. Or I should start pretending I have a girlfriend and see if she’ll change. I learned wives behave well when they sense competition. We are less than a year old and don’t know how long this is going to continue. Is it even normal? Pamper before action. Who does that?

—Charles

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