He Asked Me To Marry Him But He Has A Weakness I Can No Longer Accept

I met my boyfriend during my national service at a company in Cape Coast. At that time, he was a contract worker. After completing my service, I started working on securing a job. He was already in the job market so he stepped up and gave me some pointers. At the end of it all, he provided me with various forms of support.

He made me believe that I was the only woman in his life. And I bought that lie at the beginning of the relationship. Then I went to visit him at home one day and went through some messages on his phone. That was when I found a chat between him and another woman. Everything pointed to the fact that they were dating. To say that I was deeply hurt is an understatement.

This guy was remorseful. “I am sorry I didn’t tell you about her earlier. Things between us are complicated right now. I don’t even remember the last we spoke. That’s why I came for you. So forget about her. You are the only woman in my life.” The first thing I wanted to do was to run from the relationship as if a wild dog was chasing me and never look back. However, I couldn’t. I had fallen so deeply in love with him that the thought of leaving him cut deeper than the sting of his betrayal.

So I chose to stay and find a way to make things work. “This is your second and last chance,” I warned him, “If you lie to me or cheat on me again we are done. You hear?” He nodded and swore that he was a changed man.

Fast forward to early last year. He began spending a lot of time with another woman. This was someone he introduced to me as his friend. I believed him until I noticed that they were doing things that mere friends wouldn’t do. So I started suspecting that there was something more going on between them. I asked him several times but he denied it.

However, my suspicions were confirmed one day when I caught this lady in a compromising situation with my boyfriend in his room. It was as clear as crystal that they were involved. That was all the evidence I needed to walk away from him. But once again, I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I just loved him too strongly to leave.

I knew he loved me too. It’s just that he is not perfect. His weakness has to do with his unfaithfulness. In as much as it hurt, I was willing to accept him with all of those flaws. After all, you won’t get everything in one person.

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Although I continued with the relationship, I decided to stop going to his house. I made this choice because I didn’t want to see anything that would hurt me again. Also, I hoped that my boyfriend would become aquatinted with my absence and reassess his life and his choices. This didn’t work. Rather, his behavior became increasingly disrespectful.

His other woman also started insulting me whenever she saw me in town. I endured all forms of mistreatment from her hand, amidst other issues. I tried to end the relationship, but he refused to accept my decision.

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Just last month, he finally came clean and confessed to all the wrongdoings he had committed with the other woman. While I was shocked by his revelations, I wasn’t entirely surprised since I had suspected their involvement for some time.

My problem is, despite everything that has happened, I’ve not completely lost interest in the relationship. I hate to admit it but I still have some lingering feelings for him. He says he wants us to get married. But I’ve made it clear that I can’t tolerate his continued infidelity and womanizing behavior. He promised to do better. “I will make sure that I don’t slip through the cracks anymore,” he said. My love for him aside, I know deserve better than he treated me. Is it possible that a man like him would change? Will it be a colossal mistake to marry him? What do I do?

—Naa

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