Please hide my identity. I don’t think I blame women when they say that they do not want to marry first sons because of the responsibilities that they have to carry especially in their family. I am the second to last child of my family so I am not used to caring for a lot of people.
My parents are comfortable and everyone in my family has a good job so there is no one running to the other for financial help. I got married and that was when I began to understand how difficult it was for some individuals to save and enjoy life because they are always sending money to support others. My husband is the first son in his family and he has four other siblings who are almost relying on him completely to survive.
He is a graduate and is currently training two of his siblings. The other two are married women but they still continue to ask him for financial aid. My husband has a business and when I met him, the business was struggling. According to him, he capital to plough into his business to enable him revive it and make more sales. We were just friends then and he seemed like a very reliable and genuine person so when he asked me to loan him some people to save his business, I didn’t hesitate to do that. It was a relatively huge sum of money and he still found a means to pay me back completely before the timeline elapsed.
Now that we are married, he just keeps sending money home and we are now struggling. We have two children now but it is already as if we are feeding from hand to mouth. Today, his sister will call seeking help, tomorrow it will be his brother. I don’t know why everyone is just depending on him for one thing or another. Before we got married, we had a lot of amazing plans that will help us excel in life and also save for rainy days. Now, those plans seem to have been forgotten because all my husband does is to take care of his family. I have tried to talk sense into him but it’s not working. He says they are his family and he can’t abandon them. I am not asking him to abandon then, I just want him to look at us at all.
I have a job but I feel bad that he sometimes forgets his fatherly responsibilities in the family. I handle many things and this has made him relax. Last week, he was in the village to see his parents and take them to the hospital. The last child called to inform him that his father was sick and even though he already took antimalarials, he wasn’t improving. He has been there since and just got back four days ago. This is how he travels sometimes and he doesn’t even have a sales girl or boy so his shop is always locked. We have a joint account but I cants even remember the last time he credited that account. I am tired of complaining. I am not asking him to abandon his family, I just want him to focus on us.