I came to Ghana in 2018 and found Asantewaa in the town where my parents live. I saw her once and felt something for her. She looked different. The way she talked and walked was different. It wasn’t so hard to notice that she comes from a different place. I tried getting her attention but it was hard. She felt I was a town boy and didn’t deserve her attention but with time she got to know me and we talked. She said she came to town to visit her mother but she lived in Accra. I also told her what I came to do in town, “My parents live here too. I came to see them and would go back very soon.”
We spent about four days talking until she told me she was leaving. I had her number already so I told her, “I would be in Accra very soon and I would give you a call.” The next time we talked, we were both in Accra. I had only three days to leave the town. I proposed to her and she said no. I asked why. She said she was in a committed relationship but doesn’t mind keeping me as a friend. I accepted the offer. Half a loaf is better than none. When I was leaving, she took me to the airport and said goodbye to me.
We kept talking. I kept asking her to be my girlfriend. She said, “What you’re doing isn’t right. You want me to leave my boyfriend for you? I thought you accepted it the first time when I said we could only be friends?” I got embarrassed. I decided not to talk about it again. In the middle of 2019, she told me her boyfriend had left her. I did the sign of the cross but on the phone, I tried to console her. I didn’t want to know the reason. All I said was, “Relationship is like that. Those who won’t stay are not the ones we are meant to be with. Those we are meant to be with would stay with us no matter what.”
We talked often but I never made any move on her again. One day she said, “When I had a boy, you were all over me, trying to make me leave him for you. Now that I’m single, you’ve stopped asking me out. Why are you men like that? Or you have someone now?” I answered, “I was allowing you space to heal. I didn’t want to barge in just because you’re alone now.” Two days later, I proposed and she said yes. All my intention was to travel back to Ghana very soon because of her. And then Covid happened. The world shut down but our love remained. We talked over the phone and did video calls often. My junior brother was living in Accra so I sent him to her so a family member would know about what was going on between us.
We had dated for four months when she said her rent was due but wanted to leave her place to somewhere closer to her place of work. She said she need a lot of money to be able to move and she didn’t have that money. Indirectly, she was asking me to help her. I sent the money to my brother and told her, “When you get a place, call my brother, he would come and pay for it for you.” She got the place and my brother went with her to the landlord and made the payment. It was even my brother who helped her pack her things to the new place. My brother became my eyes, telling me whatever was going on in Asantewaa’s life.
I sent her money to furnish the place and sent her money whenever she wanted it. One day, I told her to visit my parents with my brother so my brother can introduce her to my family as the woman I’m planning to marry. She said, ‘Aren’t we rushing things? You need to come first. We need to bond. I’m not all about the girl you saw the other time when you were here. I’m more than that and you need to see that side too. Take your time. I’m not going anywhere.”
In 2021 when bothers were opened, I wanted to come to Ghana but I couldn’t. My office didn’t allow me to take my leave and that destroyed everything. My brother told me, “It looks like Asantewaa is trying to avoid me. I try to visit her and she gives me excuses. She hardly picks my calls these days.” I was worried. I asked Asantewaa, “Is that the case?” She said, “Far from it. I’ve been busy with work and also traveling around trying to start a business of my own. I’m sorry if that’s what he thinks.”
Days later, I sent her $1000 to invest in her business. My brother was still finding it hard to meet her. He had gone to the house three times and she wasn’t there. He told me, “Bra, it looks like something is wrong. Asantewaa is hiding something. Stop extending favors to her until further notice.” I didn’t listen to him. I trusted Asantewaa’s reason for not being available. I still gave her money when she asked for it. I was constantly on the phone with her and nothing was wrong.
My brother called me on the phone; “Guess what happened today? I went to Asantewaa’s house today and met the landlord. He told me Asantewaa had left the place a month ago and had collected the remaining of her rent. Bra, something is happening. This can’t be normal.” Again, I asked Asantewaa and she said it wasn’t true. “Where would I relocate to? Please stop your brother from looking for me. I’m avoiding him because of something he did when he visited one day. He tried to touch me the way I didn’t want. I suspect he has motives.”
So I asked my brother to stop trying.
I came to Ghana in March 2022. I didn’t tell her I was coming. It was meant to be a surprise. I went to where she rented the place with my brother and met the landlord. He said, “You were here the other time and I told you the girl has relocated. You thought I was lying?” He looked at my face. He said, “You believe me now?” I called Asantewaa and told her I was in Ghana. She said, “Stop joking.” I said, ‘I’m serious. I’m in town. Where are you?” She said she had traveled to a village with her colleagues to do some research work for a certain organization. I said, “Show me the village and I will come there.” She said, “You don’t need to. I will come home very soon.”
A week later I hadn’t seen her. Her phone was off most time. I wasn’t going to sit there and do nothing so I did some digging and found her office. I was there one afternoon and she was called. She came out and guess what, she was heavily pregnant. She shook when she saw me. I said, “What am I seeing? What is going on?” I watched her finger and she wasn’t wearing any ring. “Tell me, what’s happening? Who did this to you?” She asked me to leave and that she would contact me after work. I didn’t leave. I stayed around until she closed.
We had a discussion and she said, “At some point, he came back. Sorry I couldn’t tell you.” I asked, “So he’s the one responsible for this? She nodded her head. I asked, “So I was the fool right?” All she said was “Sorry it got complicated. Please forgive me.” I screamed, “I swear I won’t forgive you. I will pay you back unless you give me every penny I’d spent on you.”
She thought I was joking. I hired a taxi driver to follow her around until he gets to know where she lives. It took him a day to discover where she lives. When she left her place, she went to live with the guy. I stayed in Ghana for one month. A day before I left, I went to her house with my brother. It was the guy who came to answer the door. I said, “Chairman, I have information for you. Can I have your number? He was confused. I said, “Call Asantewaa and ask her about me. She knows me and she’s the reason I’m here. He asked me, “Is anything the matter? I answered, “Just give me your contact.” Asantewa came out and again she shook when she saw us. I told her, “I told you I will pay you back, you thought I was joking?”
The guy gave me his number and we left.
I was about to board the plane when I sent all the nude photos Asantewaa sent me while I was abroad. I said, “That child she’s carrying may not be yours. Do a DNA test. We’ve dated since 2019. Just do the maths.” I turned my phone off and flew away.
My heart was breaking but I wasn’t going to be the only one carrying the pain. I got home and turned on my phone only to see about thirty messages from him and Asantewaa. I called him. I could sense the anger in his voice. He asked me about my story with Asantewaa and I told him everything. He said, “I never left her. We’ve been together since 2015.” I told him, “Then do a DNA test when the baby arrives.” He answered, “I’ve sacked her. I threw her things out. This is not the first time she’s cheating on me but this one is serious.”
I smiled. I said in my head, “The job is done. Who is crying now?”
She sent me about ten voice notes threatening to deal with me. She was screaming, “I will arrest you. Stupid guy! Did I force you to send me money?” I didn’t even dignify her with a response.
People think borgas come to town and deceive the ladies. We’ve also been victims just that we don’t tell our stories. This is just one of the many disappointments I’ve faced with women in Ghana but I’m happy I made her pay.