I had my first real relationship with a Nigerian lady I met at the university. At the beginning of the relationship, she told me; “We are only going to date for one year. I won’t change my mind when the time is up so try managing your expectations.” I liked her and I wanted to be with her so I agreed to her terms. I did what she asked and managed my feelings for her. When the one-year was up, we both went our separate ways. She was completely heartbroken by the breakup but I wasn’t moved to get back with her. After all, she made the rules.
After her, I was no longer interested in relationships. I focused on my relationship with God and won souls for the kingdom. I have a natural charm that made it easy for me to bring people to Christ. My outreaches took my mind off women until I met Adwoa. I fell madly in love with her. Our relationship was very intense but we never got intimate. Adwoa spent four nights in my bed trying to convince me to do shuperu with her. All I did was tell her, “I want us to wait until marriage. I love you and I want to be with you the right way.”
After she left my place she started acting up. She wouldn’t answer my calls or reply to my text messages. Finally, I met her at a mutual friend’s place. That was when she told me; “Kwame the love I have for you is gone. I can’t continue this relationship again.” It took the grace of God for me to make it to my apartment in one piece. For days I couldn’t eat. I even attempted to cut myself. It was hard but eventually, I healed.
They say what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. That’s true for me. My first heartbreak almost killed me but it indeed made me stronger. To avoid future heartbreaks, I made a resolution to stay away from fair women who were named Adwoa.
Over time I rose to two leadership positions that came with more responsibilities. I focused on my books, God, and my own happiness. A year before my finals I met Jane in the mission house. It was love at first sight. We started off as friends. I wanted to take my time to know her before jumping into anything. We studied each other in friendship for a year. When I finally proposed she said yes immediately. We dated for four years but life happened and we drifted apart.
My time with her was some of the best years of my life. When she dumped me, I went with some friends to beg her. She later took me back and dumped me again after a month. I decided to let her go and move on with my life. I let her go physically but emotionally I was still stuck on her.
I went through six women looking for pieces and fragments of Jane. None of them held a candle to her. This left me with an emptiness I was desperate to fill. I traveled a lot for work and I met different kinds of women. I had fun with some of them but it never went beyond that. In 2016, I ran into a lady I used to date back in the days. Her name is Joy. Old flames were rekindled and I started to feel love again. I thought she would be my joy. I told her about my feelings and she told me she was getting married. I tried to convince her to choose me. I was prepared to leave my job and move to where she lived, to show her that I meant business. None of that worked.
The year 2017 came with a bit of hope as Nana came into my life with love.
We were really happy. I told myself, “She is the one. Everything feels right with her. Maybe all those relationships didn’t work so I could be ready when she comes.” Five months into the relationship Nana walked out of my life as quickly as she walked in. I was so hurt and shattered. The day she called it quits I got a call from an old friend. As soon as I answered she said, “Surprise! I’m in front of your house. Are you home?” I thought; “How do you show up at someone’s house before asking if they are home?”
I let her into my home with the intention to just eat her and bounce. My heart was broken and she unknowingly delivered herself to my doorstep as food for comfort. I didn’t only eat her that day, I ate and got her pregnant. I accepted responsibility for the pregnancy and hope that things would turn out well for us. In April 2018 she delivered a beautiful baby girl. My first child.
A year later we tied the knot and moved in together. Initially, I didn’t want to marry her. She was not the dream. Our families didn’t let me have my way. They insisted I do the right thing by marrying her. That’s how I ended up marrying a woman I didn’t love. She loved me regardless. The only feeling I had in the marriage was responsibility toward our daughter.
By the grace of God, I didn’t try to find love outside my wife. I gave my marriage my full commitment. One year into the marriage she got pregnant with our second child. That was when something started stirring inside of me. I would wake up next to her with a big smile in my heart. She would walk into the room and I would feel lightheaded. Anytime she smiled at me I got this feeling like I won a prize. When I thought of peace, I thought of her. Every time I used the phrase “I can’t wait to get home” what I meant was, “I can’t wait to get to my wife.” It felt as if she snuck into my heart one night and made it home. And the interesting part was, that I was ready to let her have it all. One night when we were getting ready for bed I blurted out, “I think I’ve fallen in love with you.”
I was overcome with so much emotion that I cried myself to sleep. I don’t know how she felt when I said it for the first time but I felt free saying it. It felt like a huge burden was lifted off me and a little voice whispered, “Welcome home.”
My life took a different turn after the COVID-19 pandemic. My wife asked me to start my own business and leave my job. I listened to her and I’m glad I did. Our lives have improved greatly. My wife Doris can sell literally anything. She is a nurse, a chemist, a teacher, a trader, and whatever she says she is. I have grown to love her more with each passing day.
We don’t have the world we want, neither do we have the luxuries we dream of, but Doris Nana Yaa Dankwaa, you are everything I will ever wish for. I will choose you again if we meet in the next life. I want eternity with you.
When I married her, I was only accepting the responsibility for my baby, but I ended up having a mother, a friend, a wife, and even better, a woman of God. No matter what we face in life, I will always love her. On June 15th, that’s tomorrow, we will celebrate three years of a beautiful story written from the heart. I know she will see this because she is on this platform. After all the years of wandering in the hearts of wrong lovers, I finally found a home with you.