He Came To Comfort Me, But We Ended Up in Bed When I Opened My Eye- Lady Narrates

Growing up, I had a perfect dream for my future. In my dream, I completed the university and got married to a perfect gentleman before I turned twenty-five years. I was going to do everything to ensure that dream come through until the universe smiled and said to me, “This is reality. Dreams don’t always come through.”

My life took a different turn at the bend of my dreams. Where I was supposed to go right, I turned left and messed everything up. So, I completed the university at the age of twenty-four, at a time when I didn’t even have a serious boyfriend. None of the guys I dated felt like Mr. Right, and I didn’t see the point in staying with someone I don’t see a future with. So, the relationship I had didn’t last. Immediately I spotted something in the guy that didn’t fit into my plans, I walked out. My roommate used to tease me, “Ama, it doesn’t look like you have a heart. Your heart doesn’t break when the relationship ends. Instead, you grow happier and liberated when things go sour.”

Somewhere in 2014, I met Papa. I felt a connection with him that I never felt with anyone. He felt right. He gave the right vibe and made my heart sing the right song. I gave my all to him because it looked likely that the two of us had a future together. As time went on, I introduced him to my parents. They welcomed him with open arms. While our love was growing in leaps and bounds, he also introduced me to his family.

His father had a problem with me. He didn’t like the fact that I attended the University of Ghana. That aside, they are staunch Catholics so his dad insisted that I join the Catholic church before they would accept me wholly into the family for the knocking rite to be done. That wasn’t the plan. Papa and I didn’t plan that I would join the Catholic Church. So, I told him, “Please talk to your father. This isn’t what we agreed on. We agreed to attend our individual churches after marriage. Explain things to him.”

He went back and forth with his dad. In the end, the man refused to accept our plan to remain in separate churches. I loved Papa so much but I wasn’t ready to do his dad’s bidding. I wasn’t ready to let go of my church to be in a church with him so we said our goodbyes and went our separate ways.

This time I wasn’t liberated or happier. My heart was broken and mangled. I hit a severe depression that needed a new voice in my life. I needed someone to talk to so I reached out to this married friend of mine I often turned to for relationship advice. I called him and he comforted me. The comforting became come-for-things so we ended up in bed. In our low moments, we turn to anything at all that looks like a remedy for our situation. I don’t know what happened, I closed my eyes and opened them one day and found myself doing shuperu with this married friend of mine.

I felt worse afterward. The joy I thought I would find at the end turned into guilt and shame. I asked myself, “What really came over me? What was I thinking when I took off my cloth?” That one time should have been the last time but we couldn’t stop once we started. We did it again and again and continued doing it for two months. There is a meme I saw once that read “Mistakes in the dark make children.” Yes, two months into our adulterous affair I got pregnant.

I was surprised when I found out that I was pregnant because we always used protection. “What am I going to do?” I asked myself. “How am I going to face my parents and my church?” I decided to get rid of it before eyes begin to witness my shame but the voice in my head said to me, “Maybe no one will know but you can’t hide this from God. You can lie to everyone but God sees everything.” I kept arguing with myself on whether or not to keep it.

In the end, I asked myself the ultimate question; “If my partner in crime decides not to take responsibility for the pregnancy, can I take care of the baby by myself?” The answer was yes. I had a good job and I was financially sound enough to take care of myself and a baby. I decided then that I would keep it and face the music. Again, I made a vow to live right and never repeat the mistakes I made.

When I told my parents about the pregnancy, their reaction confirmed my fears. For the first time in my life, I saw my father crying. My mother cried too. While my dad was scolding me, my mom yelled at me like I was a little girl. She said, “This is what happens when you become too picky with men. You threw everyone away only to get pregnant for someone else’s husband.”

I took whatever they told me in good faith. I deserved it so I carried it with my head down but determined to go through it once and for all. My dad didn’t talk to me for a long while but I kept going.

In December 2015, I gave birth to an adorable little girl. My parents fell in love with her and all their anger faded away. They supported me and helped me raise the baby. One of their biggest concern was a husband. I was a born one and most men preferred to marry women who don’t have children. “Who is going to marry you while you carry this load behind you?” That’s the question my dad asked me. My mum offered to take the baby from me so I can live my life and attract a man. I told her, “No, I won’t do that. I can’t pretend that I don’t have a child. I can’t go through all this stress to have her and end up hiding her. She comes from a mistake but she’s not a mistake.”

I went in and out of relationships with my daughter by my side. The moment I get the impression that my partner has a problem with my baby, I walk away. Having a baby didn’t change my attitude towards relationships. I refused to waste my time with people who didn’t respect me and respected the situation I was in.

In 2019 I met Appiah. I sold products to him in 2013 and he came back in 2019 asking if I had the same product in stock. After I answered his questions about the products, he kept in touch. We started talking frequently and I enjoyed our conversations. We had a lot in common. We even attended the same church. He was in a different branch so we hadn’t met in church yet.

None of us spoke about our feelings but it was obvious we were in love with each other. I hadn’t told him about my daughter then. She never came up in our conversation so I didn’t know how to bring her up. One day, we were talking when he said, “I want to visit you if that’s okay with you.” It was more than okay with me but I was concerned. I didn’t know if I should tell him about my daughter or if I should let it stay like that until he finds out somehow. In the end, I didn’t tell him.

When he arrived at my place, I introduced my little girl to him. He didn’t believe I was her mother. He thought I was joking so he asked my daughter, “Where’s your mommy?” My daughter lifted her finger and pointed at me.

Later in the evening, he asked me questions about my daughter and I told him everything. After I finished talking he said, “Wow, my respect for you just shot up. You are a strong woman. Pardon me if I’m being too straightforward but I want you to be my wife.” I was sure I didn’t hear him right so I asked, “What did you say?” He repeated himself, “You are the perfect woman for me and I want to seal this as soon as possible. I want to marry you.”

My only response was, “Do you realize I have a child?” He said it didn’t matter. “What about your family? What would they say?” He answered, “My family will respect my choice.”

That night I said yes to his proposal and we got married five months later.

We are in our third year of marriage now and we have our second baby. My husband never refers to my child as his stepdaughter. He loves and treats her as his own. I can’t thank God enough for bringing him into my life. Sometimes I feel like God specifically made him for me. He adores me and respects me and trusts me in a way that scares me.

I am happy that I waited all these years for him to come along. He’s worth the wait and looking at the juice I’m enjoying from him, he’s really worth the squeeze.

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