Hide my identity. I am 29 years old, married woman, who has been in an abusive relationship for more than 10 years. I met my husband when I was 19 years old, we were in school, then I was having issues with my courses, the course,most people were finding it difficult. I went to meet my course rep for help then…many years later, he turned out to be my husband today.-
When I met him to assist with the courses I was having issues with, he agreed to help if I will date him. I agreed cos I was desperate. Then he found out I was a virgin and he made us take an oath that we will not leave each other forever. I found out Tade’s grand father is a juju priest and he made the oath for him. I wish I knew how foolish I was to make that oath. Cos, after he took my virginity, our relationship became abusive.
He would get violent anytime he felt any guy was coming too close to me. He beat me several times back then and he would come crying, telling me it is the obsession he has for me, the deep love that is pushing him to act violent towards me. We broke up several times but several times we came back together.
I also learnt how to fight him. So, I would fight back when he hit me. One strange thing used to happen, after fighting, we used to make love passionately. I began to think that both of us are soul mates…that no matter what we do to each other, no matter how much we try to hurt each, that it sort of defined the love we had for each other.When we got married, he would cheat on me, I too would cheat on him…yet, after fighting, we would come back to each other. It was clear that we could not be free from the oath we took. When I knew this was getting out of hand was when I had two miscarriages due to our violent fights. Our friends and family have become tired of us.-
Right now, I am pregnant with my third pregnancy and its getting to six months. The last fight we both had, I fainted. That made my aunty come to take me to live with her. My family wanted to press charges but I told them no need cos I provoked Tade. I told him I am not sure he is the father of our child cos I been f*cking someone else when I discovered I was pregnant. I know its wrong but I have done and said hurtful things for this man to leave me alone, yet he will not.
Since that time, I started receiving deliverance from my auntie’s pastor. Now, for the first time since I have loved Tade my husband, I am quite fearful that both of us are not meant to be together cos even though we may love each other so much, I feel like one of us might kill one of us….or if this third baby survives, it will be a bad environment to raise a child.-
I have told Tade that I am going to file for a divorce cos I cannot live with him after I give birth….Tade of course is begging, promising to go to therapy. This is not the first time he has said so. All the therapies and family meetings and promises made over the years, none have worked. I think the only solution is if we both go our separate ways. Tade says the oath we took will be enforced….that means one of us, the one who actually opts out of the relationship will die. Except both of us decide it is our decision to leave.
My auntie’s pastor have fasted for 40 days for me, he says I will not die. But I am still scared because every night, I have terrible nightmares about creatures attacking me. I want to have my child in peace. I have been begging Tade to free me, from the oath…he says never. That if I try to leave him, I will die at child birth. My baby is due in about 2 months time, I am so afraid.
Everyday is prayer for me. I do not know what will happen in the end. I am just praying and waiting. What else can I do? Please advice, what is the meaning of the terrible dreams I keep having, does that signify danger? What else can I do? please anyone who has been in my situation before, please drop advice on how you handled it. Please and thank you.