My Husband Has Started Living A Secret Life In Our Beautiful Marriage Because

My Husband Has Started Living A Secret Life In Our Beautiful Marriage Because.

We struggled a little bit before we started having children. The first one came after three years of marriage. We wanted our first kid right away after marriage but we tried and tried and tried. At some point, we thought there was something wrong with us. We visited hospitals. We went for prayers. We drank the undrinkable and did everything just to have kids. It never happened for us until three years later when I got pregnant. It was the happiest day of our lives. The pregnancy aside, our fears of never having a child were assuaged. We felt whole again. We felt capable. We felt like a family who has it all and can have it all. Our second child didn’t waste time coming. It came when we were not even thinking of having a second child. The first one was barely a year old when I got pregnant again.

Three months after delivery, Covid happened. We were protecting our lives from harm so we went around wearing nose masks and using hand sanitizer. There was nothing we could do to protect our jobs. If I knew just one thing to do to be able to protect my job, I would have gone all out to do it just to keep my job and remain employed. I was on maternity leave when I was laid off. It was a good job. It didn’t pay gold and diamonds but it paid me well enough to live a comfortable life—me and my husband. I remember waking up and thinking how bleak the future would be without my job. I remember crying at night and asking my husband where I was going to get a new job like that. I got so depressed I ran out of breast milk for my baby.

My husband came through with the motivation I needed. He assured me to stay calm and rather concentrate on the kids. “There’s always a blessing in a mishap,” he said. “Let’s look for the blessing in this situation so we don’t become ungrateful to God.” I searched far and low. It was hard to see the blessing in that. All I saw was trouble in the future and an unemployed woman who was going to be dependent on her husband.

Nobody has ever changed her situation through thinking so at some point I stopped thinking and instead concentrated on raising our kids. “Some people have jobs but don’t have children. I remember my struggles when I didn’t have a child. I had a job yet I had no peace in my spirit. The blessing is these kids. I will have time to be with them, raise them the way I want. When the time is right, I will get a new job.”

My husband proved capable. He provided for us and ensured that we lucked nothing. The good thing is, he didn’t wait for me to ask before he provided. Sometimes he did things that made me ask myself, “Is this man in my head?” I would be thinking of fixing my hair. The only reason I would delay is because of money. Just when I’m thinking about the how and when, he would walk up to me and say, “Here, I don’t know what you would do with it. Maybe you can get a new hair or something.” To have a man think that way of you and provide for your needs makes you feel all the good things in your body. You’ll want to leave him so you’ll marry him again and start all the love afresh.

My second child was a year and a half old but I still didn’t have a job. I had sent a couple of CVs around but none had yielded any results. I told him, “I have some savings. I want to use it to start something—something that would earn me a little. When someday I get a job, I can stop it and enter the corporate world again.” He answered, “You don’t have to worry so much. Keep sending CVs. Keep your money. Look at the temperature of the world. It’s not easy to start a business now. If you don’t take care, you’ll lose your money.”

I didn’t listen. I started something anyway. I spoke to my former company’s procurement unit. I told them, “I can supply your Covid personal protective equipment. Kindly do me this favor. I’m still home and this is the least you can do to help me.” They accepted my offer so I started selling to them. They’ll put in the request and I will procure the items for them. I spoke to a few other companies. Two of them accepted my offer so I was supplying them. At first, the money was good but as the Covid protocol observation went down, it also affected sales but I was ok. It was better than nothing at all.

One afternoon, I was going through old stuff when I came across a brown envelope that looked like it contains something important, looking at how it’s neatly folded and kept away. I opened it and saw the document of the car my husband bought not too long ago. I went through the papers. It had the name of his senior brother. “No something must be wrong. He told me his company gave him a soft loan to purchase this car so why is his brother’s name on the document?” It piqued my interest so I started looking around for the document of the land we bought. I say “we bought” because I was involved from day one. Yes, I didn’t support the purchase with money but I helped in my own small way to secure the land. I found the document. It has the name of his mother.

“What’s happening here?”

We’ve gone through things together. Married for over seven years. We’ve never had any serious fight. I lost my job but I was doing something to bring in money so why would he buy a property and put his family’s name on it? I wouldn’t have had any problem if those documents had his name or even the names of our kids but his family? I didn’t want to make a fuss about it. I was waiting for the perfect time to ask questions. It’s been over a year now and that perfect time hasn’t come. Sometimes I feel like it’s not needed. I know how subjects like this can introduce tension into marriage. It’s the reason I haven’t made any inquiries from him.

Not too long ago, I went through the bag he goes to work with. Again, I found two separate documents. They were land titles. Both of them have his father’s name. One of the lands was purchased in his hometown and the other one is in the town we live in. Actually, not too far from where we live currently. “When did this man start creating secrets in this marriage? Have I been a bad wife? Have I in any way suggested that I envy his progress? Or he thinks I would kill him for his properties when I get to know about them?” Questions upon questions.

I went through his phone. I went through the conversations between him and his family. Most of them were in voice notes. I took my time and listened to what I can listen to. The land he bought in his hometown is being used for animal farming. It’s his father who is in charge. One of the voice notes said, “The cow gave birth last night. The other one looks pregnant.” He reported about the situations of all the animals on the farm. I sat there shaking my head. “This man has some ulterior motives. Other than that, why would he keep things of such nature from me? A woman he had married for over seven years.”

I haven’t asked him any questions but I think about it a lot. I go around playing the role of a submissive wife while harboring these ill feelings within my heart. I have a job now. I contribute to what needs to be contributed to but I also keep my own savings. I saved some money when I was doing the PPE business. I’m thinking of picking a note or two from his own playbook. I can buy lands in the name of my mother. I can buy a taxi in the name of my brother. I can start a farm in the name of my ex-boyfriend. I can buy a fowl in the name of the beggar who walks to me every morning in front of my office. I can do that too but immediately I go that way, It would be the beginning of the end of this marriage we have. I don’t want that to happen and I don’t know the perfect way to address this issue without raising suspicion and bringing venom to this marriage.

My husband is a man. He may look different but at the core, men are all the same. He’ll ask me, “Why are you going through my things? Who gave you the permission to invade my privacy? What were you looking for? He will say everything just to dodge the substantive question. After all is said and done, he’ll feign anger and act macho around the house just to run from his own mess. It’s the reason I’ve not been able to ask those questions but it continues worrying me especially when he lies to me that he’s going to the village to visit his parents when I know the reason why he’s going there.

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