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5 Years After Marriage He Said He Was Among The Robbers Who Killed My Parents – Lady Laments

I was at 300 level while my sister was at 100 level at the University when a group of Armed robbers visited our house and killed our parent.

My sister and I really suffered before we finished our University Course. We had to hawk and do other petty and menial jobs just to see ourselves through the University 

Four years later, I got married to a Christian brother, with whom I had 2 children, ( a boy & a girl).

After 5 years of our happy marriage, my husband called me and said he has a secret which has been bothering him for years and he wants to reveal it to me, that I should promise I will forgive him.

I promised to forgive him that he should open up to me because I thought he wanted to say he cheated, but what he said blew my mind off.

He told me HE WAS AMONG THE ROBBERS WHO KILLED MY PARENT, that in fact, He was the one that shot my parent to death. He said he stopped doing the job and gave his life to Christ a year after the incident.

Please I need advice on what to do because I 

can’t even look at his face now and I even felt like killing him and the kids that I had for him because they all look like criminals to me.

Please I’m seriously confused right now. What do you advise I do?

32 Comments

  1. Firstly did you pray before getting married to him? If you prayed and God asked you to marry him then forgive him and even if you didn’t pray before the marriage but you know he is now born again, you must forgive him. If Jesus has forgiven and accepted him, then you don’t have a choice but to also forgive him. Remember your eternal welfare depends solely on how you handle this matter. Pray for grace to let go and the Lord will heal your heart.

  2. The first comment I see is alright. When you have a case like this, asking for comments online is dangerous because all men do not have faith.
    God does not call us, based on what we are, but what we can become. Many of us have done terrible things before God called us. It was so with Moses, Paul, Zachaeus, the prodigal son everyone.
    If your husband has truly repented, he may even be in a better standing with God than you. So you have to forgive him. Your unwillingness to forgive him will show you that you also need Christ in your heart.

  3. God says in the Bible that our sins and iniquities, He remembers no more. He said, “I am the one that blots out your sins like a thick cloud”. If God can forgive us we need to forgive one another. Even though what happened is very painful; please forgive him. I congratulate him for making this extraordinary restitution. It shows he wants to make heaven. My dear the grace of God is sufficient unto you.

  4. This could be painful but God is in charge. If he didn’t confess to you, you wouldn’t have known. Now that he has confessed, forgive him and released him from the prison of your heart. God will heal the wounds. If God is not counting on him any sin, who are you not to forgive. Pls let go. Move on with your life. If you don’t forgive him, you will be doing yourself more harm than good. Love your children and love him the more. Don’t tell your children about it. He is now a new creature for old things have passed away.

  5. Mrs Felix: pls my dear sister, I know it’s painful and heart broken but, pls find a place in your heart to forgive him for God’s sake. Remember! If you fail to forgive men their trespasses, God will not forgive your own as well.

  6. Forgiveness is the key because our God is forgives any kind of sin so long someone repents that’s why he’s a loving God . Just pray for strength to forgive him

  7. My dear sister please forgive your husband he did not know what he was doing so forgive him has he has given up his life to Christ.

  8. The children have nothing to do with it. Report the matter to the police and he should serve time despite the fact that he is born again

    1. Jane Mbeke, what’s wrong with you? Why is it your so different to the People who have been comment on this issues since? Devinately, you don’t have forgiveness mind, though the matter is an heart broken one, but you still have to forgive. If you said she should inform police now, don’t you know it will affect the children no matter how you do it.

  9. Wow!! This is heartbroken to be realistic as human being . I pray she will be able to love this guy again . I pray.
    .

  10. Sincerely speaking, you have already having your parents back through him and your otherwise might hurt both Faith and the children future and it doesn’t even required public comments
    Just dwells on God’s grace and mercy for divine direction your divorcing him is from sin to sin and more deeper sinfulness,
    Therefore, remember we all have sinned before we repented, and it’s the value of real repentance
    Thank Jehovah God, Who allowed him to be alive and married you
    His purpose be supreme in your heart and life

  11. Frank Venn
    It’s really a painful drug to swallow. But remember, your hubby repented before you married each other and he went ahead to make his true confession having realized you are the daughter of his one time victim. This is an indication that he wants total forgiveness. So, for you to now contemplate eliminating him and your children together amounts to murdering as well .
    I , therefore, advise that you forgive him just like he must have been forgiven by God via his confession.

  12. Pliz forgive and move forward with your marriage and never hate the kids coz they have nothing to do with their father’s past life

  13. Report the matter to police for action .This is criminal offemce and he not be forgiven .Why did he fo this?.Let the law take action regardless his faith.He is just pretending.

  14. Report the matter to police for action. This is criminal offence and he should not be forgiven. Why did he do this and while knowing married you ? This is a don’t care person and a pretender.Report him for action . About the kids forgive them.

  15. It’s not easy, yes. But with God u can. God allowed the marriage for a purpose. This could be one of it. So sister, forgiveness is the key. Allow God to complete His purpose for you both. The ways of God are not the ways of men. Listen to what God is saying pls, and follow thus.God give you the grace you need for this.

  16. Although it’s so painful and heartbroken, but for the fact that God has forgiven him you also must forgive him. Remember you were once a sinner who received forgiveness from God. Please forgive and God will heal your wound completely. Always pray to God for Divine help and grace whenever you remember the incident. Your children are innocent, don’t involve them in the matter. Love them and your husband perfectly and see what God will do for you dear. Do not retaliate because vengeance belong to God. May God’s presence abide with your family and prosper you abundantly. Becareful and beware of all costly advices. Thank you

  17. My sister please forgive him, love him more as u love him before,I know it painful but u should know that we all have sin against God in many ways but he forgive us and give us life,God want to console u and return the love and happiness u have from you parents that why he makes him repent and come back and marry you,he is a good person by telling you about it because not everyone can do it please forgive him and forget

  18. That’s rather unfortunate. I think you should forgive him in the interest of your children but hand him to the law courts for the law to take its course and forgive him too. Justice must take its course and it is not up to you to determine what the law should say on that matter. The lawyers are there to do that. Forgive him for God’s sake 🙏🙏❤️❤️

  19. Everyone is sharing d same perception, I love this,but b needful thing here is forgiveness,just make up ur mind to forget n forgive him wholeheartedly for d sake of God nd ur siblings. Move on wt lyf n leave scars to almighty.

  20. You don’t have to do otherwise,for his telling is evidence of his regrets and repentance.He is dying in his conscience.Before he opened up he asked that you forgive him which you oblaged to do.Are you not a woman of your words? Anything you do now in retaliation, killing him and your children is more grave than the crime he committed.He did it ignorantly and had repented,God has forgiven him.So whatever you do in revenge is your obvious will before God and the state.Supposen he continued keeping the secret Will you know? Remember he’s dying more than your are feeling and help him to recover.Don’t be too emotional about your parents and they cannot come alive again.Moreso he is your husband,God allowed you into his hands and that’s the painful traumer he will suffer.Think about Saul(Paul) of the Bible,book of Acts chapters:7,8,9.I pray for you that God before whose open eyes these events happened give you more grave to carry this challenge.Remember God is tasting you for a bigger trials.I will like to hear back from you.

  21. Please forgive him because first, because that is what God will like you to do. Secondly, it happened before he got born again. Thirdly, he willingly confessed to you, if he hadn’t you’d not have been aware of it. Fourthly do not allow your anger to destroy your home, if you leave him, you’d expose yourself to loneliness and suffer the indignities metes to divorees especially women. He too may suffer the same fate, a negative reaction from you can make him to leave the faith and you would have used your hands to push your own husband to hell. Then, have you thought of what will happen to your children and their destinies if you abandon them?
    Yours is a very painful experience but I beg you not to kill anyone because if you do, you’d have also killed yourself. Have you not thought of prison where you could spend the rest of your life?
    Please talk to a psychologist for assistance. May the Lord see you through this trying experience.

  22. What type of born again is that?.Are you not with blood in your vein?.I don’t know what religion is bringing into some dogmatically.For me I won’t live with such a killer anymore.I am happy for you and your sister you can live your life..let him go.

  23. Though it is hard, you need to forgive your husband . According to 2 corth.5 : 17, he is now a new man in Christ. Please my sister, allow the past to pass and then move on with the future. God knows everything and He is always in charge.

  24. Well,98% of your fans have spoken the biblical truth on forgiveness and loving your husband and your blood-(children) please accept the counsels.Though flesh will resist the truth, His Grace is sufficient unto you.Don’t see your husband as the worst dinner, but be sure you are legally married to him,if not he is not your husband yet . Therefore you have to forgive him based on the finished work on the cross .

  25. God has really dealt with your husband that why he confessed and He(God)has erase your lineage name from murderer list remember you are your husband identity. Kindly pray to God for directions because your home must not collapse, forgive yourself and your husband in order to make heaven. If you have died you wouldn’t talk about revenge. Search for discipleship class (BRO GBILE AKANNI) to become Christ like. All is well my sister.

  26. All what you have to do is to forgive your husband at same time do not reveal what your husband told you to your children

  27. It’s really painful,but you have to forgive and forget for the sake of the children, because children needs both their parents to be there.it is the WK of God and never thinking of killing your children,they are the Gift that come from the almighty.

  28. There’s no one with present without the past. U also have past which God overlooked. The scriptures says in Pro 28:13 “he that covers his sins will not prosper, but shallhe that confesses his sins & forsakes them will obtain mercy”. Ur husband’s obtained mercy already for confessing his past sins to you. Have you also confessed ur past to him…? Who knows if yours is even worst than ur husband’s? Better forgive him to have peace and rest of mind or else… D only dose for having peace of mind is forgiven others, if God’ll ever forgive you ur past. Do so & it shall be well with you IJMN.

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