I was the type of lady who could meet a man one day and then lose him the next. Not that I was unkind to them. I dug deep and did everything I could to keep them, but they eventually went. I’m still not sure why Albert abandoned me. He remained silent when I approached him. He simply stopped returning my calls and visited me. I went to see him at his home. I was informed that he was not present. I knew he was in his room, but the guy who showed me around the home said he had been out since the morning. When I asked him what happened a few years ago, he answered, “Nothing.”
James, too, came bearing grandiose promises of bettering my life. He even said I was the air he inhaled. I didn’t believe him, but given how anxious he was to have me as his girlfriend, I decided to give him another chance. He changed three months later. He treated me as if I didn’t exist. When I went to see him, he was on his phone, conversing and laughing, while I sat alone and neglected. “Who I’m talking to isn’t your concern,” he screamed at me when I asked him who he was talking to the other day. Because you’re my girlfriend, I can’t talk to anyone?” That’s how that five-month relationship came to an end.
Felix showed up. I’m not sure if I should count that guy as one of my ex-boyfriends. He stalked me for two months before disappearing when I finally gave him a chance, kissed him, and had sex with him. That connection didn’t endure more than a month, in my opinion. When he was following me, he began to use his work as an excuse, as if he didn’t have one. All of these emotional ups and downs had left me exhausted, furious, and depleted. “Enough is enough,” I told myself after Felix vanished. I’m done adoring and falling for charlatans.” As a result, I hung my heart on my wall like a retired footballer’s boot. I walked around without a heart, unable to love the next guy.
“Or is it because I offer these guys sex too soon that they depart and never return?” I pondered. “Or is there something spiritually wrong with me?” Or do they notice something is wrong with me but don’t say anything and simply go away?” When you don’t understand why things happen in your life, your mind invents a slew of reasons to fill the hole.
Somewhere along the way, Kingsley began to draw closer to me. I understood why he’d come, but I pretended not to notice him. He’s a guy I met during a combined retreat of our church’s youth fellowship and another branch of our church. It was a three-day session, and he stayed with me the entire time. He proposed a week later. I stated that I was uninterested. We remained pals. He brought up the subject again months later, and my response was the same. Regardless, we continued to converse. After then, he returned with the proposal. He was looking for answers this time. “How come you don’t like me?” What if I don’t meet your requirements? “Do you have a boyfriend already?” “I’m not ready to love again,” I said. Those I cared about didn’t contribute anything positive to my life. “I’m a retired lover,” she says.
“I’m not one of those jerks. “I’m unique.”
“Albert echoed my sentiments. James had stated something similar, but they ended up being like two peas in a pod.”
“Believe me when I say I’m different.”
“Yes, you’re unique. It merely means you’ll hurt me in a different way.”
“All right, let’s do it your way.” What are your conditions? You have the right to depart if I break any of your rules.”
“No sex till marriage,” was the first thought that came to mind. “Are you able to?” “Is that all?” he inquired. “That’s my sole fear,” I explained. “Are you a virgin?” he inquired. I had already said yes before I could even consider the question. “I haven’t done it before, and I don’t want to do it before getting married.” I’m keeping everything for the best man.” “No problem,” he said. “No problem,” I answered. “Are you able to?” “I don’t have a problem,” he said. Just so you know, I have nothing but good intentions for you.”
We began dating. I waited anxiously for the moment when everything would change—for the moment when he would start making excuses and the relationship would end. After two months, four months, seven months, and twelve months, Kingsley began to discuss marriage. We’ve enjoyed a fantastic year of unwavering love and care. For the first time in my life, I haven’t been loved for a year. I only had Kingsley for a semester, but he hit the appropriate notes every day and used the right gestures to go deep into my heart. I was the one who initiated our first kiss. He was taken aback. “Have you forgotten you’re a virgin?” a small voice in my head asked that day as I was getting more and more into the dances. I quickly withdrew.
The marriage discussions made me happy. He was ecstatic, but the fact that I had told him a falsehood pricked my conscience. Would he still love me if he found out I wasn’t who I said I was? “I’m proud of how far we’ve come,” I told him. You’ve been open and honest about your feelings, which I greatly respect. But there are a lot of things we need to talk about before we move forward.” “Eiii madam policies,” he said. You bring policies with us everywhere we go. “What is it this time?” says the narrator. “Don’t you think we should prepare our future before we get there?” I asked, without saying more.
I was terrified three days before the knocking. “Are you marrying me because I stated I was a virgin?” I asked. “Why this question?” he inquired. “It just occurred to me,” I explained. Nothing.” “Not that,” he replied. You meet the requirements and have been a nice person. Very encouraging. So, yes, it’s all about those things.” “So you wouldn’t be unhappy if I wasn’t as green as I made you believe?” I inquired. “Are you telling me you’re not?” he inquired. “I’m not!” I exclaimed. “I told a falsehood.” “We’ll chat tomorrow,” he said. “Why, let’s do it tomorrow,” I said. He hung up the phone.
I wrote him a message. I called him back, but he didn’t answer. He didn’t respond to my messages asking with him to pick up my calls. “Eiiish, what’s going on with me?” I finally found a wonderful man, and I’ve managed to wreck things with my own hands?” I arrived at his residence early the next morning. “What else have you been hiding from me?” he inquired. “Nothing,” I said. I didn’t mean to hide this one, either. I didn’t think you were serious about me when we first met. I assumed you merely wanted my body, exactly like my ex-girlfriends, so I used it as a deterrent. Please pardon me.” He didn’t say anything after that. I became concerned. I was pleading with him to speak up. “We’ll chat later,” he said.
When I called the next day, he was silent. “Should I cancel the knocking?” I inquired. “Why would you?” he inquired.
We’ve been married for two years and have a ten-month-old child. “That day when you kissed me and your hand started going places, I knew you weren’t green,” he stated the last time we talked about our beginning. I was simply extending the benefit of the doubt to you.”In this article: Click to comment