Relationship

Trust No One, I Visited My Husband’s Village For The First Time Only To Find Out His Big Secret- Woman Cry Out

Trust No One, I Visited My Husband’s Village For The First Time Only To Find Out His Big Secret- Woman Cry Out

For about 6 years I have been wedded to my husband and we have a fine baby girl, and we were a perfect couple I thought, till I went to his Village. Before we got married my husband was looking for job all around and then I helped him and to God be the glory he got one with well paid salary and an apartment with a car officially, and then not so long we got married because of the way things where going smoothly with both of us.

I was a fool to not to have noticed that when ever I bring up the issue about his Village he gets angry, I guess I was blinded by his love, care , God fearing and all the qualities a lady may want in a guy like him.

It got to a point where he then said that he may leave me if I every mention anything concerning his Village then I thought maybe his people did him wrong. Well before we got married he told me that his parents where no more and he doesn’t relates with his relatives well then I had doubt about him but he was too good.

But the good thing was that he didn’t keep his Village name hidden from me and I went looking for his Village just to confirm what may have really happened, I searched all over the Village for almost a mouth till I came across someone who managed to recognize his face on a photograph. Who claimed to to a relative to the man and took me to their house.

Pay Attention: “Trust Nobody”-I Barged Into My Son’s Room Without Knocking, What I Saw Got Me Hospitalized For Two Days

When I got there I was shocked though, seeing the boys in the house looking like my husband then My curiosity was heightened, so I introduced my self to the lady of the house and we talk, she revealed that the man in question was her husband too that the children I was seeing are her children and my husband’s.

And then again she told me of how they communicate and how he sends money to them always to take care of the family. To Confirm the whole story she called my husband and turned on the speaker and I recognize my husband voice on the phone so I left.

So I wondered how could he do this to me keeping such big secret and after all I have done for him. Thinking of how to confront him with the issue, and I lied to him that I went on a business trip too.

Who should I tell my baby girl, that I was stupid for all there years..? Should I end the marriage? Being heartbroken and I got all these questions running through my mind pls advice..

150 Comments

    1. Play the same game by pretending you don’t know nothing. Just make sure you stronger than him and start saving for your future and your baby bcus he may not truly love you. Best of luck

      1. Go to God in prayer if you are a born again Christian the spirit of God in we lead in u what to be do, but ifyu are not born again go and give it on life to Jesus then be present it case to him am sure in he we help you

          1. Wal my sister Life is always fany but cool down and consider that you are now married to this man and he takes good care of you with love and happiness to this concentrate in that marrege don’t tell him now until you are in big mood and then you surprise him and tell him to unite his family’s to gether so that you can have a good nice family,also you know that Muslim have upto four wives not two but as soon as he equalize and don’t discriminate against his children don’t worry my sister even though Prophet Isa didn’t marry in the period of his life and he has comanded you to get marry for not to commit adaltry so please stay with your husband is not a crime , have a happy family.

      2. Plan very well and leave him for good because he is just wasting your time the day he will leave will shock you so be wise

        1. He saw himself around you and lost control, for me he is also in love with you as well as the other woman at home. He loves the two of you and he is keeping two wives because he needs the two of you, don’t be deceived to run away, play your role as the second wife, continue to love him because most African men will do what he did, Any day he discoverers that you have known, encourage him and make him to know that you have known since that you are not going to run away, you will shock him by this and he will love you the more, this is real fact

          1. You are really great, I love this…you said it all… because you leave him now you might meet the worse, build with him God will give you your own children, take care of him, never stop loving him… that’s the best advice…I love what you said

          2. The one thing you should keep in mind all the time is that your man will never abandon his first wife and kids, no matter how much he loves you.

          3. This man loves you and he loves that woman in the village he can’t thro away his first family because he married you, since they were there for him when he was poor just put your self in his shoes. The good thing is he still have TLC (tender loving care) and the reason why he has not told you is also a sign of respect. Remain calm and respect him more than you have been. However the moment he realises that you have known his secret that’s when your respect will be blown. For instance from 90% to 40% or even less.

          4. Always follow Traditional and Biblical ordinances of marriage. A man asking for your hand in marriage should meet your parents withs his own parents/people pay your bride price after due consultations and careful investigations of whom he is and where he came from. ANY RAT THAT ENTERS INTO A SNAKE’S WHOLE WILL COME OUT WITH SPEED REVERSE.

          5. Nice. Advise that. Is it all. Leaving him can still lead you to another problem. You where beating by rain at. Lekki you wants to run to badagry. Where rain no day fall???????

          6. I know Patrice will love your comment bcos he is a man. And most men love it when they take advantage of you and you rubbish yourself by being a stupid door mat to be trampled upon!
            Madam, this is your life. You know what u can take and what u cannot take. The choice is yours. If u know you can take it to be a second wife, the competition and witchcraft and hatred from your fellow woman that is associated with Polygamy, then accept him like that. If NO, then start making plans to move. Shock him before he shocks you!

          7. Best advice I have read.Stay in your home and be the wife to him and mother to your daughter.Qhy are you looking for what is not looking for you..Now start saving for the rainy days..esp in a fixed account..and make sure you get him to put down permanent structures for you and your Dota’s future security.Theres no need finding what you have.Love himas long as it last…if he gives you no stress… peacefully live with him.
            .

            A

        2. He fears you because he loved you and don’t do away from him if not you shall regrets doing so.
          Love is real so bear with him please

        3. My sister,
          Just be patient.
          Don’t do anything to make him knows that you know about the situation.
          Just make sure you work hard, and gather enough money that can be used to start a new life.
          Then, make friends with his wife in the village and then invite her together with her children to your house in the city.
          Make sure that your husband will be home that particular day and shock him with his family in the village.
          And see if he will give you a very tangible reason why he lied to you all these years.
          If couldn’t give you enough good reason for that, then you will have no choice than to leave him behind for a new life with the money you have saved.
          Good luck my sister.

          1. Well my sister like someone already said, as long as he’s taking good care of you no cause for alerm, consider yourself a second wife and keep praying to your God, don’t go and start asking him about it, he may lose his temper and it leads to divorce, allow him maybe he will tell you later, did you even take him to your village or you are only marrying in the township? Be wise and save your marriage

        4. Since he pretends to love you, keep your cool, try and get more children, save money and make investments. Because, the day he will abandon you and your children, it will be like film to you.

        1. Well, if you look at the way things are with you and the man; how caring and loving he has been with you and the same love he showed on his first wife. He did not abandon you for helping him. I think you should take him the way he is and get your ass together, make him legally marry in court if he has not done that to the first wife or else you will remain a mistress to him. There’s nothing wrong, traditionally as a Nigerian, in having two wives.

      3. The only advice I can give to you is to continue your marriage with him, don’t run away.
        Try to crate a good home (relationship)for the first wife both the children and your own children. Let one love abide both of you.
        Let the man (your husband) know that you understand the secret he was hiding before you. He will apologize and loves you more.

        1. Well on my own part, don’t quit. He is your husband no matter how. Please I beg u. Be patient with him.I am sure that he will find a way of telling u the truth. For him doing so, forgive him and unite the family.
          Also the other wife in the village is now aware. Please be courageous to forgive him my dear sister. The did has been done. Patience courage and forgiveness.

        1. The man knows that u are the brain behind his success, and he didn’t want anything to distract ur attention , that’s why he’s not bothered of u talking about his village issue for knowing his family members.
          There are two types of marriage, village marriage from the parents who happens to force the marriage to him perhaps,and township marriage that he choosed by himself to suit his choice, and u are the one.so I believe he loves you and will continue to love you.however now that u have known the secret pls try to be watchful and be very vigilant because human cannot be predicted.

      4. Just let him know and stay in the marriage because you where ignorant of his marriage and still stay happy with him

      5. Yes really you were blind folded with love. Keep the secret to yourself also. Start saving for your child and build a house for your self and give your daughter the best.

    2. It is not something new. You see, you testified that the man is good, loving and caring. Don’t think of harming him. If can’t accept being second wife, go peaceful and don’t make him loose his job.

        1. Que sera sera! You should accept your fate and do yourself no harm. There’s nothing new under heaven, the man doesn’t want to lose you and at the same time afraid of your knowing about the family in the village. Just thank God that you have a cross to carry. My sister if you are in peace in that house, remain there but invite your husband to a close door meeting and ask him questions on why he’s keeping such a terrible secret from you and settle it amicably because if you go and marry another man, you might end up going to your grave sooner than expected. Let him take you home to the village for proper rites and try to forgive him. Focus on God and think of how you will make it to heaven at the end of the journey in this sinful world as God will not ask you whether you are a second or third wife under the canopy of your husband. Re-marry to your Bible and walk with God. It is well with your soul.

          1. Please don’t do anything funny love him as never before, neither first or second wife is a title.the devil is only trying to to bring you down.remember everything you do your name and your baby names should be well considered.God will never put you to shame.Love your husband care for him and you shall enjoy your marriage as a second wife like you are the first wife.

        2. Just bear with him nothing wrong in marrying two wife. Maybe he keeps the secret for the fear of loosing you, that doesn’t mean he didn’t love you. Like you have said earlier he is caring and loving. Another thing worth considering is that the other woman has not said ill of him means he’s so humanitarian.

      1. Most of these replies are one sided. I actually like one of them who said he loves both of you.
        Truth be told, most people have a past, even you. Secondly, he sends money for upkeep of his kids is even a plus for him as he is a responsible man.
        Find out well if he truly married the other woman, for all you know, he might not have married her cos of poverty.
        You are the only legal wife.
        If this is the case, ensure you get court marriage certificate and whatever investments you make, let it be receipted as Mr& Mrs, with your name also appearing as owner.
        As the woman, be the custodian of the documents
        Confront him with the truth wisely. A wise woman builds her house, not pull it down.

    3. Please stay with him and love him more after all you are enjoying peace and love from your relationship with him. A man is capable of loving more than one wife and treating all of them fairly depending on how each wife treat him.
      Please don’t divorce him for the sake of love and your children. God bless you. Amen

      1. My advice is.. stay and keep enjoying your peaceful and happy home… though he never tells you that he married before.
        What if he’s not legally married to the village woman.. trust me you are going to regret leaving this man.. some celebrities are looking for this kind of happiness…
        Genevieve, Tiwa Savage, Rita Dominic…

      2. The truth is that before God, the woman he paid her bride price is the real wife. I don’t know which is first. He may have seen an opportunity in you and decided to use you get a job and standing in life. For the fact that he deceived you kills trust. All those good qualities mentioned maybe part of the game. He alone konws if he truly loves you. He is not transparent at all. If you have decided to keep the discovery to your self then be wise and start investing and building your future for you, your daughter and unborn children. Again, the other woman in the village may mention it to him except you both had an agreement not to talk. How can you marry a person in this age and time without visiting his village at least once before marrying or at least send someone to investigate for you and ask questions?What if he was a killer or something else? You lacked wisdom there. On a final note have a discussion with your Father in heaven and ask the Sweet Holy Spirit, your Helper to help you and lead you in the way you should go. What has happened has happened. The other woman could be the first and you are the intruder and she has all boys. I’m sure if he had a good job he wouldn’t have bothered with you! God bless you!

    4. Are you both believers? If yes seek God’s face, heHe will direct you on what to do. Just reclaim your life back as you run to God for direction. God bless

    5. Quite sympathetic with you. But, remember there’s marriage between you and him and a child. From ur submission, u said the man was searching for job here and there to survive, you also said you and him and living fine. My honest advise for you is to accept the fact as a destiny and live with it. You have confront him of ur findings in mature way and manner. But, don’t end the marriage. Please, be sincere, could you have get him the job in the first place, if you know he was married? May be not. Finally, consider these 3 things against 1: Marriage, child and love with deception. The choice is yours. Good luck.

    6. Don’t leave, the one you are going to meet will he be better than this one, continue and take your place in the home, either as number 1 or 2 wife, because you made it to be so, you have to lay on it Like that. thank you

      1. My sister 2 much of everything is bad 3 piece of firewood make ur food done u can’t do because of smokes u remove 1 what of others are there not smoking out of all advice s remember ur destiny is in ur hand

      2. They are all in love,the man is has.
        Just know the man kept that a secret for a reason.
        The reason is coz he loved the woman en wanted to win her. If he didn’t Love her then he would have left her already coz he got what he wanted.
        So there’s love bro

    7. The advise that pouring here are good but others are not giving her a solution but seem to be supporting the man but we shouldn’t forget that this man hid to the wife for a long time this man would have mentioned this when the marriage was on the pick of love she would have been in shock at the same time she would have cooled down now it took herself doing the investigation and good enough she finds that this man still loves the first wife they talk he sends money that again can not sit well with her don’t forget that one day the first wife will demand to join him in town with children so it will be another experience, so the choice is in her hands the decision she is going to make is hers.

  1. There’s no point terminating the marriage. Would you kill the daughter?
    Would you rather kill yourself?
    Can you say you don’t know the man again?
    Pray for the family. Shikeenah.

    1. You have to be very careful with him until u think of some to do to free yourself. He is a very mean man to hid it from you .Pls think and act very fast . Best of luck.

      1. The problem with you women you think that the man’s family doesn’t not matter in a relationship. Since you have wedded remember the vows you made and just remain the second woman. There are many good recognized men in the Bible who had many women but did not stop them from serving the lord deligently. You never trusted yourself and that’s why you messed.

      2. Don’t leave him if he loves you and want to marry two of you and the woman you meet in village loves you work together with her and love her too , the family will be great family in future.as long as loves you and wants two of you stay with him work together for the future that family the man will love you with out stop, for you to still love him he cherish you.later you be so much happy with your children okay.God bless you for being so good and protect you.Amen Thank you as listen to me please all ways praying to God to strong your family a everytime in JESUS NAME AMEN

        1. There is no harm in finding out secret.
          Of a truth he has done the wrong thing by not informing you before hand .My dear he will definitely tell you one day and by allowing you to know the name of his village he has indirectly told you because he knows you can visit his village.
          You can see that it is no news to the woman in the village. My candid advise is that if you really love your husband don’t quit. Mark you, the village wife will inform him of your visit.Sit your husband down talk over the issue find a place in your heart to forgive him and move on with life
          God bless you

          1. “I guess I was blinded by his love, care , God fearing and all the qualities a lady may want in a guy like him”. Though the incidence was so pathetic and disheartening. Yo gotta move on…

  2. Meaning you are a second wife….and you know what that means in the Christian faith if you are one.
    It’s not your fault, it’s never should be your fault.God sees the kind of heart you have and you brought in the marriage,Innocent and kind and peaceful and pure in true love.
    But God will vindicate you and surely no that you know, you are guilty but patience and mature mind with perseverance will help you in this trying time.
    You may not be good at pretence, you will soon sell your conviction out to him.God knows what follows.
    Am so sorry, it’s a bad thing in 6 evil years. Ignorance is a killer.

  3. I almost thought,u wanted to say,he was a ghost,thank God he is not a ghost but a real man,who happens to be a deciver , but that’s not enough to end your marriage, continue to Love him, and pray to God to touch his heart,so that one-day,he will come out plain to you.My sister you’re now and have been a second wife.acept your fate!

    1. Hmmmm.
      It’s your curiosity which has burnt your nose. Bare it and continue with your business as usual.
      Wait for the day he will be exposed.
      Fore told, is fore armed. So it won’t be a surprise to you.

  4. First, the married was built on deceit, secondly been second wife is not acceptable according to God’s principles , pack your things and leave, you are not married yet

      1. Please don’t leave the man becos of your child who still need a father by her. Thank God for everything and move ahead. One good thing is that he is hard working not a liability or gold digger. Have it in mind that every Nigerian husband is a potential polygamist if given the opportunity. Just forget all they profess as love is all fake. Another thing is for you to try and have the number of children you want and plan for them. They is not wrong be happy.

    1. Do you listen to yourself Azoro!
      First You’re Correct by saying the marriage was built on trust…. And I quote it can be desolved both in Church and Court.
      But on your second thought, I don’t align with you. Telling her to pack her things and leave is it the best option No!
      For her being a second wife is not and never a sin read your Bible very well.
      There is nothing wrong with being another wife. Polygamy is never a problem on its own but we humans makes it looks like a problem.
      For your information she said they got married okay.

      1. Madam think strength,remain calm.just that he should atleast tell u abt his first marriage n for him to wed u,there is love. Don’t walk away plz

  5. My sister any Man that can denied his wife and kids because of you, can equally denie you when he see another woman, leave before it is too late.

    1. He never deny his wife and kids, he only made it a secret and secret is not deniers, some of us also have terrible secret we are keeping to our selves

      1. They asked you to leave. Bad advisers. You legally married to him and that makes you the real wife. Just love him and try to call trusted elders to advise you. Jesus did not nor Paul said marrying two wives will make you go to hell. Serve your God very well. That is all. Stay in your marriage but get the message to him through trusted elders. Anyone who says you should leave is your enemy. Do you know other men too ?

        1. Depending on your religious belief, Did he ligally married the woman? If yes, as a Christian, then,that man is not your husband. Why can’t he tell the truth? If you are a Christian then leave the home. You rather obey God than man.

  6. First, the married was built on deceit, secondly, been second wife is not acceptable according to God’s principles , pack your things and leave, you are not married yet

    1. Please I a m not judging you Sister you are at faults to some points, how can you be married to a man that doesn’t want his wife to know any members of his family or village and you agreed, who are his family members that witnessed the wedding ?
      You don’t need to confront him, just pack your things one day before he comes home find where to go and stay, the rest will be on phone calls, start your life afresh in Christ life, if your daughter is the only one you are not barren, leave the rest for GOD.

    2. I don’t know why people are trying to encourage being a second wife, even saying that is biblical. Jesus Christ came and died for our sins which bring about the new testament one man one wife, but because of our selfish desire we are trying to hold on to some things in the old testament that Christ came and amended them. Please pray to God, meet your pastor if you are a Christian and make a decision that will not affect your enternity! Thank you.

    3. You are in , you are in. Interestingly you were legally married. Hiding his past relationship is not the best approach ordinarily but the man knows why he did that. Perhaps out of his love for you. If you are fortunate to get the full gist of his first relationship and you put yourself in his shoes , you may end up agreeing with him. He is your legally married husband. Love him the more. Endeavor to raise this crucial issue in a private meeting with him and listen attentively to his further defense. Don’t leave him. Assure him of your love and care. Extend your love to the first woman and her kids too. Allow God to take control .

  7. I do not know if your story is true, but I know what you have just narrated can happen. How can man that is born of a woman know the way if God does not lead. The heart of man is desperately wicked, who can know it? …..the bible asks us.
    Marriage is a serious matter. It is not what one can go into without God. Go to God now, confess your sins unto Him. Ask Jesus to come into your life as personal Lord and savior. Then pray and ask God, what do I do now?

    The truth is that you have been living in adultery all this while. But since you did it ignorantly, God will forgive you. Go to Him in prayer now.

    Chibiko Godwins.

    1. As interesting and touching this story seems, it is wrong to judge from one side, when it concerns marital or relationship issues.
      It is important to hear in full the Man’s narration ,establish a balance before taking stands.
      Analysis of some intricases the woman involved mentioned shows clearly that she may not be opening up in full the exact circumstances in which this marriage came about.

      Here are a few points:
      * You assisted in getting Him a good job, that possibly jumps processes of growth on the job, as it came with a car, apartment and very good pay as mentioned in the write up…and that not long you both got married.
      …..it’s a good act but you might have had your hidden motive which later played out.

      * Taste wise, He was your kind of dream Man…due to his show of care, love etc.

      She is not mentioning if he/she made all the advances that led to the marraiage.

      It may be a case of the Man playing along all the years due to the favour he got through you and to avoid loosing his job after you both lead each other on.

      There is possibility you did not create the atmosphere that could let him ever voice out the truth to you about his marital life, as I feel, six years was to long to keep such vital secrete…obviously you also skipped doing some due diligence at the right time…which is carrying out the investigation that led to this discovery at the right time (before marriage)

      In all, since He is a good player and you are a great investigator, You both find ways to swallow the hurt, accept and enjoy your one big family.
      It’s a difficult situation, but it’s possible when you let love rule.

    2. It’s painful married without both parents and without visiting the village for six years and without church marriage and God’s blessings, tell him everything and leave before the first wife will crush you. From Godwin. M. U

    3. Please Chibiko kindly let me know your diacotomy between adultery and fornication. The woman wasn’t married before she got married to this polygamous man. It is the man that committed adultery but the woman was fornicating during relationship time if they met sexually before marriage. But now that she is married, scholars should come in to define it whether second wife or not.

  8. You better quit ,let’s face the reality.That is a stolen love because the man is already married before deceiving you .So that relationship in the sight of God and true Christian /godly standard is immoral and founded on deceit and falsehood too.

    1. Why running away from a man that paid ur bride price, he loves u n was afraid u may not accept him if he tell u he has a wife at home, what I will advise u should do is this, love him like u never did before n lay a good foundation for ur kids, after all life is too short to be spent worrying urself, beside u are not living in the same place with ur co -wife. Make sure u don’t drag property with the first wife, as such u will lead a happy life. Thank you

  9. Don’t be deceived by people to leave your beautiful marriage my sister. Accept your faith and continue with your marriage.

    1. Biblical or not, check deep inside of urself can you leave with that man and still love him like before knowing fullest well that you are leaving with a deceitful man. Can you still trust him that he ll not deny you in the future. Ask urself. The decision is ur.

  10. U have married him , wether first or second wife doesn’t matter. All that matters is to maintain that love you shared together and forget about sentiments.

  11. But i have one simple question to our sister; when you were getting married, you didn’t bother to know his family very well and where he comes from? All happened in this way because you’re at fault, you were supposed to do all that research before entering yourself in that game.

  12. He is afraid to loose you, because you made him a man able to support his affected family, he loves you that is the Truth, the fact that he talked to his family in the village on phone ,be a key player and be a great friend to the offsprings in the village, God is love, don’t get disappointed we are born imperfect, practice perfection through acts of love and unite the family, your children will be blessed by a true God who sees

  13. If you are real, you should know that any thing without foundation cannot stand. You marriage is an accident about to take place. Take a walk now before it is too late. God will surely make a way.

  14. It’s an unfortunate story, what type of marriage did he have with the woman in the village, if it’s formal and registry one then you are his wife and he has involved himself in bigamy, first start saving for your child and future, if he could deceive her, and you he can still do it again, he is not to be trusted. Finally move closer to God almighty

  15. The question is, do you love him ENOUGH? Don’t confront him, but call him and tell him you already know what he’s hiding from you. If he’s remorseful and sober, only ask for your position as a legally married wife. Henceforth, be the one to remit allowances to his children in the village. Not your own money o! Forgive him and be magnanimous towards his children in the village. He will live the rest of his life to respect and love. Divorce is not the solution.

  16. “I searched all over the Village for almost a mouth till I came across someone.”
    Just like one said “IF UR STORY IS TRUE”
    Based on what u said above that u spent almost a month hmm! Let’s believe u.

    There are 3 forcefield behind help:
    1 For relationship
    2 For God’s sake.

    If u helped one for relationship sake, insist on knowing d family b4 u get too far.

    If he’s still very serious with his family as discovered by u, know that u don’t have any future there, it’s just a matter of time. Lots of thought have been shared. Let God talk through either of them.
    I wish u can reach me for help for further info.
    Take It calm & take it to d Lord & trust Him for solution & deliverance.
    I bless u His Spirit of mercy & help in Jesus mighty name.
    Thank u Jesus Christ
    Apostle

  17. The truth is that you are a second wife, and you’re no longer ignorant of it. If truly you are born-again, the Scripture says, “And the times of this ignorance God winked at; but now commandeth all men every where to repent” (Acts 17:30). “Repent” of your sin of adultery, and disengage yourself with that man. You may not have to leave your baby behind. Quit that marriage, for the sake of eternal life! But if you don’t belong to Christ, you may choose to remain a second wife, and face the consequences. The choice is yours!

    1. Is it wrong biblically to have more than a wife? NO! Many instances of polygamy in the Bible – Abraham, Jacob, David, Solomon etc to mention a few. She should just accept the fact that she is the second wife, find an appropriate time to discuss the finding with the husband and pray to God for patience and guidance.

  18. Close your eyes to your findings provided he still loves you and cares for you. This is an African setting though he suppose to be manly enough to tell you about the other woman. He man hide the other woman thinking you will hate him considering all he had benefits from you. If he is what he use to be keep the relationship. If God will have to judge, not you but him for lying to you. But I think you need to help him here by tailoring him to always say the truth.
    Besides, if he married you properly by paying your bride price and others and the village one without dowry, then you are the legitimate wife, both spiritually and legally. Don’t quit, the home is yours and you can not tell if you will ever find all the qualities in him in another man who may want to marry you, if any.
    Thank you.

  19. That’s why I always say don’t look for what you don’t want to see, do you know how to play games 💁 then play and save for your future.

  20. Your husband is a responsible man who is limited by hardship.
    Would you have helped and married him if he told you about his first marriage? At least, he tried to protect you from the truth. He is honorable.
    Now that you know the truth, decide for yourself if you are prepared to be a second wife despite being the bread winner.
    If you can, then confront him to enable you both stop living a lie.
    If you can’t, leave him.
    God who knows the heart of all men, knows his desperation to cater for his TWO families.
    Good luck.

  21. Don’t mind this 1000 opinion, if the man had married another woman before you, my sister your leaving in sin with him, Bible said one wife one man, nothing like two wife one man, and going to heaven at the end of your life will be astake. Move away from him, give your life to Jesus, God will give you a man that will love you more than him.

    1. My sister, you were too rushed and it has happened. This is one of the disadvantages of marrying somebody you know nothing about.
      Let me advise that:
      ___take heart and be patient enough.
      ___regard this as nothing.
      ___pretend not to have known anything.
      ___be faithful to him as usual.
      ___concentrate on planning for your future.
      NB: Adhering to the above your husband may not send you packing. And this, if done, can get you hypertensive thereby ruining your bright future. You are ONE already.
      Good Luck 👍🙋

  22. KONTINUE with your Union with him…it dey African bodi..nah our DNA ..him only lied no abomination had bn done to you…men are polygamous naturally…stop disturbing us…I think say him steal ur moni….ifbu quit him or d marriage provided d homebase wifey no gut grutsh wit you she welcome u…nah sign if acceptance so do same and go accept ur man back…let him day u deserves to be carried among….

    1. Don’t listen to those condemning you. You have not sinned. Keep the love glowing. Extend the love you have for him to his children and wife in the village. The only commandment of our Lord Jesus Christ to us is to love one another. Love has power to unite a people. This is what is lost to Christians. They do not know that it is sin for them not to love. They do not know that their calling is to love.

    1. In this case we needed the man’s version. We can’t judge from what we heard from the woman. There are lots she isn’t telling us.
      My candid advice here as an elder is to continue your marriage in good faith, there’s nothing wrong with that. Ok.

  23. Do you know why the man refused to tell you? Is simply because he does not want to loose you. If you ask me, I will tell you not to leave that marriage. The truth is that, the man loves you. Stay and train your child/children. But the mistake you made was that, you didn’t try to find out why he left the wife and children.

  24. Don’t leave the marriage stay with him. Ur marriage is csllca township marriage and the first wife is called village marriage . Poverty briubro him to the vullvil and he married u…just thesame way our men marry White ladies for Greener pasture..

  25. Shock him by telling him that u have know his secrete, even tell him that u have reach village to see his first wife, tell him that u are not going to leave him for any woman that u people will be together for ever maybe he thinks u will run if he tell u that he have children, I think he love u, thanks.

  26. Make him know that you know about his family in his village and forgive him. Continue with the marriage. Polygamy is sin. if he loves you continue with the marriage.

  27. The stone see from a distance does no blind someone pls take time to plan your way out of his life, a man that hid such secret can kill. He is a father of your daughter do him no harm nether his job or his life. May God grant you peace of mind

  28. You were really stupid. No one person marries a wife. It’s in your greed not to relate with his people that is why he married you alone. Carry your cross.

  29. Sorry sister for what u r going thru ,,,,,first this is the time to sit down with ur hubby and have a humble conversation with him about what he has close for u since then,,,,,then think abt the little angle that u have ,,,,, then u will take the next move from there,,,,

  30. you love him and he loves you back he is afraid that he may lose you if he tells you the truth knowing fully that the truth will reveal itself one day for me I think a man can marry three wives so I advise you to keep calm

  31. If u divorce,u have u gain nothing..just pretend u know nothing even if ur co wife tells her… don’t invest in any joint business but save big for ur girl for a while….n search for de better one B4 divorcing…show him u are also a player in de game

  32. You just have to continue in the marriage , see your self as second wife.
    Keep playing along may be he will finally open up to you I strongly believe so. Again , pray to God so that the first one accept you without any hit he’s. After all second wife is not a new thing in this part of the world. I wish you good luck.

    1. Don’t be perturbed.Break the news of your finding to him and do anything humanly possible to start a new phase of cordial relationship with him.Help him to ammend the situation for the good of both of you.

  33. You can continue with him since he takes good care of you and make you have a job.
    Maybe he married you because you secured a job for him and he doesn’t want to lose you.

  34. My sister,there’s no perfect being in this world..I will give u a candid and honest advice,as if u are my blood sister..this issue is delicate..I won’t be in a haste to see u at fault nor the man..Life itself is not fair..God doesn’t lower his standard for any man,but there’s a five letter word that moves God..”GRACE”…Before I elaborate why I mentioned”GRACE” I will like to know the extent of marriage rites the man has performed on the woman’s head(the one in village)it’s a delicate matter that needs adequate counseling..I won’t be in a haste to condemn a union God has not condemned,and won’t equally be in a haste to approve,when heaven has not approved..yes the man may love u,and u may equally love him,but adequate counsel need to step in now,and the spirit of he who died and ressurect for mankind will swing into action..God loves u more than how u think and know..see how people are responding to ur issue with sincere heart..none of them has said bad of u,but trying to see that it’s well with u,irrespective of their tight day schedule..God is mindful of u my dear..relate back to me,let me see how heaven will intervene..may heaven keep u and ur family for his glory..Amen..

  35. The marriage is not legal at all it’s a secret marriage if truly you’re a Christian table it to your pastor and watch his reaction and answer,that will tell you the next thing to do if he truly loves u he will pay your pride price legally and will be proud to call you his wife and take u to his family nobody comes from an empty family if there are no immediate family there must be relatives. the fact you’re living with him does not make u his legal wife he did not love you his only playing along side with your love,what if something happens to him tomorrow do u think that his family will accept you as their wife ask yourself that question if u claim to be his wife? you are his secret wife and not a legal wife and as a believer will not be a second wife one man one wife and serve your God we are not just here for marriage to avoid distractions. I drop my pen

  36. Never live him, continue love him,and pray God should make strong to be with forever,most guys are outside there are worse than him,pray for some months over it let him realize u know about his in village.u still want to be with him ever.thank God u said he caring, cos u will discovered that he love u,but he doesn’t 2nt to lose u.Accept that ur has two wife and continue ur life.Gid we guide u

  37. Madam, please accept your fate though I know it’s not that easy to do. This is the test of that love you have for him overtime, which will guide you on either to love him more or separate from him. Don’t be deceived that he loves you less with the secret. He just might have seen his decision as the best way he could keep you. Be very calm as your reactions will now determine the future of the family. You might not be sure of his plan coz he knows that you will get to find out one day. Please, make a different and better woman from this issue.

  38. It’s well with you. The Bible is against a man to have 2 wives, and the Bible only recognizes the first wife as the wife. As a child of God you are to leave the marriage but you’re not to deney him access to his daughter, I pray God give you the needed wisdom on how to go about it

  39. That is a street marriage where no body witnessed it, neither parents/relatives of both sides nor celebrated by a religious leader or a government registrar of marriages. Many girls have fallen culprit of such because they ignore seeking counsel from experienced and people of good standing.
    My advise to you, now first investigate whether that village co-wife is officially married to that so called your husband. If yes, then plan the way to quit; if not, convince the man you become the legal wife; or decide to continue like as you have been doing but with the mind that endure with all the consequences might follow in the future.

  40. U created dis problem for yourself! U can imagine how u feel now compare to d way u have always felt! All women should know dat it is only a man dat loves u dat will keep things dat can break u down from u! Once he told u don’t go there, stay out bcos theres always a reason! Stay with ur man as far as he treats u right, women should stop investigating men same as men too, just follow d trend and enjoy ur marriage. There is no way a man checks a woman phone or woman checks a man phone without seeing something to talk about! Now, u don go find watin no dey find u! In all dis years, he has never given u any reason to suspect him so why finding out about him? What if something has happened to u in d process or someone from d village use u to get to him and wrecked him and bring him back to square zero! U will start running from pillar to post! It is well with u my dear, love ur husband no matter wat and never confront him on dis issue, he will tell u wen d time is ripe normally.

  41. God will make away for you, always love your husband ask you love before, but try to confront him but if he tell’s you the truth continue with the marriage, God will help you

  42. N
    My dear sister please don’t be blind with because this man can run and leave you with a broken heart please move on and take care of yourself and your kids let me tell you my own story my husband that is how he started we have two kids he will be printed like is not doing something but he wants and married another woman and throw me out of the house and I with my second son and letter he threw the outside again no trust anyone my sister and he is begging me to come back but I right now I am leaving my life well so no to go back

  43. Yes love is beautiful and blind to love someone as your lover is good but no matter how trial to now some things about him, his parents, his brothers and sisters community or else u are on your own, and it’s to late to dance when music us off.

  44. Pls it has already happened, just sit him down with cool tune explain what you have observed to him. Meanwhile involve some of the elders in that talk. Leaving the house is meaningless just be in peace with everyone.

  45. Those advising you to leave the marriage are agents of destruction. When you leave they will come back to you to dup you of your little wealth. And we be laughing at you. Afterwards many Christian men are into polygamy now. Do you know your end if you leave him. How long did you stay up without husband and finally got one you want to put end to it. What about those guys you deceived before marry this man. He appreciates your passionate about him and the good things you did for him.

  46. The idea of absolute monogamy is against the plan of God. God created the woman to function in polygamous settings.

    Monogamy does not favour the women.

  47. First, you have to be more careful than ever. Because more action to open up for what you saw, will harm you and the baby. Call this line anytime by 5:pm I have something you need to hear. 08025292407 Thank you be strong

  48. Hummmm, dear sister,life can not give you exactly what you want, accept ur own cross and carry it, madam we can just advice,u are d one dt in the game,is ur story no one can tell it better,pls stay with ur hubby,lifes goes on, nothing new on earth.dont behave funny,thank God for ur life and move on, destiny can never be changed.we all av different story to tell, nevertheless put everything to God in prayers.he will leads u true.remain blessed

  49. Let not paint this aldultry baby pink pls,,, Why’s did u,not force him to go and know his people b4 the marriage?who were his kingsmen that were present on that faithful day??ur family,didn’t they ask to see or get to meet their inlaw to be???on that day who did ur family dance, wine,dine and celebrate in jubilation with????what if he is a ghost?????of course I know there’re no answer to this,,,but if u can sit down to ask urself all this questions,u will agree with me that there was no marriage in the first place and it is called by cut-marriage…Anyways u thought I were smart,,,see where it has landed u…be sure before going into marriage… prayers first b4 marriage No…u went into non-existing marriage cos u helped him… anyways this kind marriage is a trend one…so many living with men for 10years and above presently,,😌😏so u are not alone in this!😏!!!my advice is,u hasten up to God and ask him for mercy and forgiveness, asking God to forgive the seed of aldultry… I came in peace but d truth be told….thanks.

  50. You’re married to him and he is doing well. Though he did wrong not to confess to you, definitely you wouldn’t have married if knew . But to me, you don’t need to leave. If you leave, you will be the only looser. Up to all, polygamy is not a crime so to say. But the Bible advocates monogamy. If you can coop, good luck. I believe the other woman did not complain! Face your life, eat your portion.

  51. I want to take use this opportunity to thanks all of you for your comments, firstly let’s look at the word” FAITH” faith in totally, is the substance of things hope for, ÀND, the evendence of things not seen.
    Okay, yes it’s true that, you really love your, hosband and got married to to him, now you have discovered that he has in his village a wife, and not only that, but with children, just in your right mind, ask the Almighty God for his guidance, and direction upon your relationship,
    You can’t do anything in your own power, is only he, the Creator,

  52. Your marriage to him was built on deceit and falsehood therefore the foundation is faulty. You made him what he is, right? Though of course, you have not actually opened up as to how the miracle job came about, that’s if you equally compromised? Think of a likely good business investment and convince him to part with good cash even if it means taking a couple of months to complete the investment payment but the cash is safely stashed away in your secret account. When mission is accomplished then invite his village wife and family over when you’re sure that he’ll be home and before their arrival file for a divorce using a good lawyer and have it served on him by a court bailiff and your lawyer the day his village family is visiting so that the lawyer and bailiff will be live witnesses and if you can have a battalion of policemen available, clean up the entire house and move into another apartment pending determination of the divorce suit.

  53. He is a conscienceless deceit whom you can never ever trust, a gold digger who believes in living off a women without having to work hard for it therefore your future with him isn’t guaranteed. For you, be rest assured that you’ll surely remarry to your your hearthrob eventually.

  54. You made a grave mistake to contract marriage without traditional process. However, don’t fool yourself twice. Now quietly apply wisdom, start arrangements to leave without blowing it up. When you are done leave his house and let him look for you. If he finds you, tell him what you discovered and your resolve to go ahead with your life. But remember, the girl belongs to him, (if your tradition permits that)but you are not his.

  55. That is inhuman 😕. I honestly don’t know what to tell you coz the other woman is now aware, even if you keep quiet he will know in a while.. confronting him might bring quarrels too. Confront him asap! But be prepared for any eventualities… good luck!!

  56. You heard different versions, people ideas will never be same, now the choice is yours may ÀLLAH guide and protect you, remember we are human bound to err, even the most high GOD we offend and repent then he forgive, married is another worship that could save you in the next world.

  57. You have made a mistake same as him…….for me you said with no doubt he loves YOU,cares,gives you attention see continue to see him as the best like as of first a day will that his heart won’t rest until he tell you
    And also be prayerful because the battle line has been drown where the enemies will start to come as counsellors
    Yes the did has been done and forgiveness is the key which lovely families live on today

    I ask that God grant you wisdom and understanding and protection…Amen

  58. You helped the man and he thought it was the only thing he can use to appreciate you for your help towards him. Pls don’t be too bitter to him and forgive him since he loved you. He must have told his 1st wife about you and you have been accepted. Pls live the more in his Good in his Bad and in his Ugly. Pls do pray to Almighty God before you take any step. God will see you through.

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